PHILADELPHIA, PA--Bench clearing brawls, an occurrence as common in baseball as home runs and double plays, have long been considered harmless, pointless charades of macho posturing. But Thursday’s brawl between the Cincinnati Reds and the Philadelphia Phillies marked the first time in recent history that a baseball fight featured actual punches, alarming fans and players alike.
        
The fight started when Adam Dunn of the Cincinnati Reds was brushed back by a fastball from the Phillies’ Carlos Silva. Dunn, taking exception to the throw, immediately charged the mound but was tackled from behind by Phillies catcher Mike Lieberthal. The ensuing brawl featured numerous actual punches, in contrast to the long standing tradition of baseball brawls being a show of force put on by a bunch of sniveling pussies.

“It certainly is shocking,” said commissioner Bud Selig at a press conference after the game. “When I saw the benches clear, I didn’t expect those players to actually throw punches at one another. Someone could’ve gotten hurt out there. Lucky for us, they hit like girls.”
 
Baseball fights have always been considered one of the games quirks, good for a few laughs and some Sportscenter highlights. Usually they consist of both benches clearing and everyone loitering on the field for a few minutes. Since brawls are considered a sign of team unity, it is an unwritten rule that every single player in the dugout must come onto the field, lest they be accused of being selfish and “not a team player.”

"Gee,” said one player speaking anonymously. “These things are usually just a matter of coming out of the dugout and scowling. I've never had to hit anyone before. To tell you the truth, my hand is really sore now. I might have to go on the disabled list."

Video replay of the brawl shows many disturbing images, such as the Phillies' hitting coach striking the Reds’ Austin Kearns in the side of the head with his fist. Kearns was later shown in the clubhouse emotionally distraught, being comforted by teammates and worked on by team doctors.

“I just can’t believe it happened,” said Kearns, rubbing his eyes and whimpering. “One minute I’m standing there doing a little pushing and shoving, the next minute some big guy comes up behind me and just punches me right in the face. It hurt so much I fell down. I still feel dizzy from it, too. I might have to go to the hospital”
     
Team officials disputed the statement, saying Kearns sustained a minor bruise on his temple and should be fine after the Advil kicks in.

The repercussions of the violent brawl are already being felt around the league. Just yesterday, another bench clearing incident occurred in St. Louis’ Busch Stadium. But this time, when the players cleared the benches, they were more tentative. Some were even wearing protection and padding. One player, relief pitcher Eddie Nunez of the Phillies, came out in full catcher’s gear. Another emerged with a football helmet and makeshift shield made out of a trash can lid and some string.

“I just wanted to be safe,” he said. “You never know when someone’s just going to take this a little too seriously and actually throw a punch”
       
Even though the altercation has changed the way some players view bench clearing brawls, most agree that the time honored tradition would continue and that the great unwritten rules of baseball will remain unchanged.
       
“That’s just the way baseball is,” said Nunez. “People are always going to clear the dugout at that first sign of trouble. Most guys will be more careful now, though. Nobody wants to get hit or anything. Then you’ve got to deal with the scars, emotional and physical, for the rest of your life. That’s why I have this handy shield. You always have to protect yourself. You never know when actual punches are gonna be thrown.”

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