CHAMPAIGN, IL--Illinois basketball fans expressed disappointment yesterday when star player Dee Brown announced that he would skip the remainder of the NCAA tournament in order to study for final exams. The junior guard reportedly has several “killer” exams in the next few weeks, prompting his decision to abandon his team in the middle of a title run.

“I know this is hard for the fans to accept, but it’s something I really had to do,” said Brown. “Suppose my team reaches the championship game. How am I supposed to take my Psyche final the next morning? It’s at 8:00 am. It’s not like they’re going to go out of their way to arrange some kind of special ‘make up’ day for me just because I’m a basketball player. What do you think this is, some kind of crazy fantasy world?”

In addition, Brown has final exams in sociology, calculus, African-American studies, and history all within the next two weeks. The unfortunate schedule creates a huge conflict for him.

“I’m sorry, but whoever scheduled this tournament didn’t take into account that players have exams to study for and take,” he said. “My sociology final alone has, like, 10 essay questions and 50 multiple choice. I’ve got to bring my ‘A’ game if I’m going to pass that one. There will be plenty of time to play hoops with the guys afterwards. I’ve got the whole summer ahead of me.”

The Fighting Illini are supporting their teammate’s decision to skip the rest of the tournament. Some of them have contemplated doing the same thing.

“I totally understand why he’s doing what he’s doing,” said forward James Augustine. “Playing basketball is fun but at the end of the day it’s really just a game. Studying can build valuable life skills that will help out in the job market. I may actually skip the next game myself just so I can get a head start on my English lit. final. We’re supposed to get a ton of questions about Moby Dick and I haven’t even read the damn thing yet. All I know is that it’s about some killer whale that terrorizes beachgoers on a small New England island.”

Rick Pitino, coach of the Louisville Cardinals, also applauded Brown’s decision, saying more Illinois players should follow his lead.

“I think he made the right decision. It was a no brainer,” Pitino said. “In fact I’m surprised more of their players haven’t done the same thing. I think all their starters should take the tournament off and focus more on intellectual pursuits. Basketball isn’t everything. Remember, there are over 70,000 student athletes in the country, and almost all of them are going pro in something other than sports. I have no use for those people, but hey, to each his own.”

Brown’s decision took the NCAA by surprise. He is one of the most recognized players in the country, and his absence could have a profound impact on television ratings. Still, president Myles Brand refused to criticize Brown for putting academics first.

“Taking Brown out of the game certainly takes some of the shine of the Louisville-Illinois matchup, but you have to weigh the pros and the cons,” said Brand. “Sure we’re going to lose one of our most popular and talented players, but he’ll probably pass those finals with flying colors. The NCAA is not about producing professional athletes. It’s about molding young minds into the leaders of tomorrow. Remember, there are 70,000 student athletes in this country, and almost all of them are going pro in something other than sports. Oh, you already heard that one? Damn. I memorized it for nothing.”

Officials are privately concerned that Brown’s decision to drop out will spark a trend among the other players. If any more stars follow suit, the quality of play in the tournament could drop considerably.

Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission