Damon Stoudamire Swears Off Marijuana After Powerful After-School Special

PORTLAND, OR--Damon Stoudamire, point guard for the Portland Trail Blazers and noted pothead, has reportedly sworn off the drug for good. Teammates were shocked by the sudden turnaround, which Stoudamire attributed to a powerful after-school special, starring TV's Scott Baio, called Everybody’s Doing It.

“I always thought smoking pot was cool,” Stoudamire began. “I used to do it with all my friends when I was growing up, and it just kept right on going into adulthood. It was a big part of my life until I saw Everybody’s Doing It. Talk about being scared straight. I’ll never touch the stuff again. That program showed me consequences of pot use that I never even thought about.”

One scene that particularly haunted Stoudamire was a scene in which Baio goes on a fishing trip with his friends while secretly high. With friends on board he recklessly rows out to the middle of the lake when, in a fit of marijuana induced rage, strikes his friend James in the head with an oar. James nearly drowns, and Danny learns a valuable lesson.

“Danny finally learned his lesson, and so did I,” said Stoudamire. “I could totally relate to that because I have a boat. What if someday I smoke too much reefer and bludgeon my friend to death with an oar? That’s the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night.”

Another scene that resonated with Stoudamire was a scene where Danny gets so desperate for pot that he robs a liquor store to get his fix.

“I got a lump in my throat watching that,” said Stoudamire. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve craved pot so bad that I would’ve been capable of anything, even robbing a liquor store. Seeing that on the screen, something I’ve had nightmares about several times, was an eye-opening experience. I’ve got to take control of my life and stop smoking pot before I end up hurting someone.”

Stoudamire’s friends reacted with relief and elation at the news that he had given up marijuana. Teammates Rasheed Wallace and Bonzi Wells sent him a flower basket and greeting card expressing their support. They praised Stoudamire’s courage and perseverance and claimed he was a role model for the nation’s youth.

“To be honest, I was real worried when I found out about Damon’s pot habit,” said Wells. “To think, someone on the Portland Trail Blazers was doing drugs. Is nothing sacred? This is the Portland Trail Blazers, one of the most prestigious and respected teams in the NBA. It is our sacred vow to uphold the integrity of this team and wear those colors proud. It really shook me up. I guess it was just a wake up call. Drugs are out there and for some, the temptation is too great. I just admire my friend for being able to overcome his demons.”

Wells indicated that he and other teammates had discussed the possibility of having an intervention, but had to scrap the idea for logistical reasons.

“It was a good idea,” said Wells. “But we just couldn’t get everyone together at the right time. But we had it all planned out pretty good. We would lure him to a hotel room by telling him there was some great marijuana in there, and then ambush him about his drug problem. The beauty of interventions is that it allows the user’s friends to speak their minds a little.”

One of those friends is Rasheed Wallace, who may be the person most affected by Stoudamire’s drug use.

Said Wallace: “He’s my friend, but he’s hurt me. He really has. I remember one time we were supposed to go out to eat, and he stood me up because he was too freaked out to leave the house. Another time, he didn’t get me anything for my birthday, and you know why? Because he spent the money he put aside for my gift on a bag of pot. But the most important thing was, he was hurting himself. I can’t sit here and watch my friend careen down a path of self-destruction. I’m just glad he saw this after-school special before it was too late.”

Stoudamire has been arrested twice in the past year on marijuana related charges. His addiction seemed to be getting worse instead of better. But Everybody’s Doing It changed all that. It provided a new perspective that has allowed Stoudamire to understand he’s not alone and others share his struggles.

“A lot of people think of Chachi as the kind of guy who has it all together,” said Stoudamire. “But he’s human, too, and seeing him on TV going through the same things I went through, it gave me some hope. At that end of the show, he had a turnaround. And so did I.”

The ending of the special shows Danny confronting his problem head on and deciding that drugs weren’t going to rule his life. During the dramatic scene, Danny breaks down and cries, admitting he has a problem, and seeks help from family and friends to overcome his addiction. After that he lived happily for three more years until being hit by a bus.

“I believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for me now,” Stoudamire said. “I drew a lot of strength from Scott Baio and my friends and family. I never realized how much I had hurt them with my irresponsible, self-destructive behavior. I hope now my relationship with Rasheed and Bonzi with really blossom into something special. And I hope I can better represent the city of Portland and the Portland Trail Blazers now that I’ve turned my life around. Like young Danny, I’m no longer beating myself or my friends with the oar of drug addiction.”