September 24, 2005
 

TAMPA, FL--When the Devil Rays’ Alex Sanchez tested positive for steroids last month, he expected to become a media sensation, a lightning rod of controversy so notorious that he wouldn’t be able to leave his house. Unfortunately, his suspension barely registered on the national consciousness, and 30 days later he’s still as anonymous as ever.

“I’m pretty surprised the way this has all turned out,” said Sanchez. “I really thought I’d be notorious like Jose Canseco or Jason Giambi or something. But my life really hasn’t changed at all. I guess I should be happy, but in a way I’m a little insulted, too. I mean, I was caught doing steroids. I’m the first guy ever to test positive under the new guidelines. You’d think that would at least warrant a thought-provoking piece on Outside the Lines.”

Though Sanchez desires to live a normal life and not have his reputation dragged through the mud, he sometimes fantasizes about being a media icon like Barry Bonds.

“Every once in a while I imagine myself being followed around by Pedro Gomez,” said Sanchez. “He could report back to Dan Patrick exactly what I was doing and what the latest rumors were. Everyone in the country would be talking about me. Me! Little old Alex Sanchez. But I guess that’s not going to happen, which surprises me a little. I mean, this should really be a black day for baseball or something. I am sending the wrong message to our nation’s youth. Doesn’t anybody give a shit?”

Even the local media covering the Devil Rays has all but ignored Sanchez. After the positive test, he envisioned a throng of hungry reporters clustered around his locker at all times, bright lights shining in his face, and paparazzi following him everywhere. That hasn’t happened.

“Pardon me for going on about this, but I would like someone to explain how nobody at all cares about my suspension,” said Sanchez. “After all the talk about the new testing program in the offseason, and all the guarantees that the problem would be solved, here’s a guy who brazenly flouts the rules and does the damn steroids anyway. Holy shit, national scandal, right? Wrong. Nothing. My locker is empty after the games. There are no reporters around. Could it be that the media only cares about big stars? No, that’s crazy. I’m just being paranoid.”

When the news broke about Sanchez’s positive test on opening day, there was a small amount of interest on behalf of the media. ESPN.com reported the story as “breaking news” and it was the talk of baseball for about five minutes.

“When I heard that somebody was caught doing steroids I couldn’t believe it,” said baseball guru Peter Gammons. “It’s opening day and already someone is busted. Big story, right? Well, not so fast. Turns out it was Alex Sanchez, some little guy from the Devil Rays that had, like, 3 home runs last year. Frankly, I find it hard to believe he even did steroids. It’s more likely that he was set up by a vast, shadowy conspiracy of baseball officials who wanted to show that their new system was working. I guess that could be a pretty fascinating story itself, but…what’s that? Barry Bonds spoke to the media today? Quick, to San Francisco!”

Rays beat writer Carter Gaddis said the lack of interest in the story could be traced to the lack of star power involved.

“It’s Alex Sanchez. He could kill someone and nobody would give a shit,” said Gaddis, a writer for the Tampa Tribune. “Plus, he’s on the Devil Rays. He might as well be playing in Antarctica. My God, this place is like purgatory. It’s horrible. Nobody cares about anything. I write and I write and I write and nobody gives a rat’s ass about what I’m saying. Please, Jesus, if you exist, deliver me from this horror, take this cup from my hands, kill me if you must. I’m begging you….Anyway, what was the question?”

Even fans around the league have been underwhelmed by Sanchez and his positive test. Instead of being bombarded with jeers and boos everywhere he goes, he has been greeted with the usual indifference.

“Last week we had a series against the Yankees. I was sort of dreading that,” said Sanchez. “I figured the boos would cascade down and the fans would chant cruel things like ‘BAL-CO’ or ‘Ste-roids’ or something like that. But instead I got nothing. They didn’t cheer, they didn’t boo. I don’t even think they knew that I was the same Alex Sanchez that was busted for steroid use. One guy behind home plate did keep telling me I suck, but I don’t think he was referring to the steroids. I think he was referring to the fact that I suck.”


Alex Sanchez Thought Steroid Suspension Would Be Huge National Scandal