NEW YORK--In an emergency meeting called by the league on Monday night, NFL owners voted 18-14 to continue the season despite the fact that the Patriots-Colts match-up is over. The league and owners initially considered closing up shop until February, when they would pit the Colts against the Patriots in Super Bowl 42.

“I think we made the right decision,” said Jaguars owner Wayne Weaver. “There are still a lot of games left to be played and it wouldn’t make much sense for us to cancel all of them now. Hopefully it will go by really fast so we can get to the playoffs and watch the Patriots and Colts again. By the way, let me ask you something: Who would you rather have, Brady or Manning? I think that’s a question the mainstream media is afraid to ask.”

The decision wasn’t an easy one for the owners, who deliberated for six hours before voting to continue the “stupid, lame season.”

“I am not looking forward to watching the rest of these games,” said Jerry Richardson, owner of the Carolina Panthers. “What, exactly, is going to provide the kind of drama that Colts-Patriots provide? Giants-Cowboys? Excuse me while I laugh. Steelers-Ravens? Steelers-Colts? Steelers-Patriots? No, no, no. It’s only a good game if both teams are undefeated. Otherwise it’s just an exercise in mediocrity.”

The Colts-Patriots game has been hyped relentlessly since the start of the season and was dubbed “Super Bowl 41 ½” when both teams came into the week undefeated. Since they're the two best teams in the NFL, it was apparent that even the Super Bowl wouldn’t top the game in overall excitement.

However, the Fox network has already secured advertising for the Super Bowl, so the show must go on.

“There is money to be made here with the advertising revenue and things like that,” said Steelers owner Dan Rooney. “It’s really not even feasible for us to cancel. Not to mention that one of those two teams will probably be in the Super Bowl this year, so at least we’ll get the orgasmic joy of watching either Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. Just gazing upon them is worth the price of admission. And when then other team is on offense, you can just stare at a picture of them.”

On Sunday night, the post Patriots-Colts hangover was beginning to show in the performance of Al Michaels and John Madden during the Sunday Night Football contest between the Cowboys and Giants or Eagles or something.

“And it’s a run by Marion Barber for a first down,” Michaels muttered during the first quarter of the action. “Nice run, but not nearly as nice as Joseph Addai’s at the end of the first half of Super Bowl 42 ½. Remember that, John? And how about that second half! Talk about a nail biter. At first I thought the Colts had it in hand, and then – and there’s a touchdown by the Cowboys – and then the Pats came back. Anyway, this game is a miserable death march. I’d rather be at home watching The Amazing Race. Wouldn’t you, John? John?”

On the field, it was more of the same, as players lamented the fact that they weren’t playing in the most important regular season game in the history of organized sports. Cowboys coach Wade Phillips, interviewed before the second half, dubbed the game “Pats-Colts Jr.”

“This is like Pats-Colts Jr,” Phillips told Suzy Kolber. “I only wish we were as good as either of those two powerhouses. But we’re not, and we just have to accept that. What we can do is go out there in the second half and take it to these guys, put on a good show, and then get the hell out of here so I can go watch highlights.

“By the way, aren’t you going to ask me who I’d rather have in the clutch, Tom Brady or Peyton Manning? No? And you call yourself a reporter?”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.