SAN DIEGO--Antonio Gates isn’t normally one to get starstruck around celebrities, but the Chargers tight end was tongue-tied and swooning upon meeting living legend Kellen Winslow Jr. before Sunday’s game against the Cleveland Browns at Qualcomm Stadium. Gates approached Winslow during warm-ups to introduce himself, but ended up stammering something about “being a big fan” and then running away.

“Oh my God I’m such a dork,” Gates said afterwards. “I walked up to him to shake his hand like I was mister casual, but when he turned around I got all flustered. Seeing an icon like that in person can be really disorienting. I was like ‘Uh...good luck. I’m a really big fan of your work.’ A really big fan of your work? What is he, an author? Is this a book signing? What a retarded thing to say. Luckily he just turned around and went back to his stretching. I’m not even sure if he knew who I was.”

Gates made another attempt to approach Winslow after the game, but he was unable to get through the crowd of well wishers, groupies, and bodyguards.

“I was just going to run over say good game, because he really did have a good game, but there was no chance of that happening,” Gates said. “He was surrounded by this swarm of people trying to touch him. They were all pushing and shoving and screaming. I had to stand on my tip-toes just to catch a glimpse of his face. It was worth it, though. I totally caught his eye. I could tell he saw me, because when I smiled at him he had one of his bodyguards push me to the ground.”

Gates has been a fan of Winslow since Winslow’s college days in Miami, and said it was a humbling experience to play in the same game as him.

“Just to be out there with somebody like him who’s accomplished so much and meant so much to the game is extremely humbling,” he said. “Kellen is a real inspiration. He’s had to overcome so much adversity - all the people doubting him, all the haters, everyone in the media trying to bring him down - and he’s still the best in the business. I attribute it all to his warrior mentality. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. He probably doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words. That's why he never has much to say. ”

Winslow had 11 catches for 78 yards Sunday, while Gates had only 2 catches for 22 yards, further illustrating the wide gap between the two players. Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer acknowledged that gap, but said that Gates may someday approach Winslow’s greatness if he makes a Winslow-like commitment to excellence.

“Kellen is the best I’ve ever seen,” said Schottenheimer.“It might be remotely possible for Antonio to get up to that level someday, but he would have to make an unrelenting commitment to perfection. He would also have to learn how to be a leader. Kellen is the kind of guy who’s not afraid to get in people’s faces when they screw up. For instance, he would have been all over me a few weeks ago when I took that ridiculous intentional safety to try and protect the lead. Antonio? He just stood there and watched the whole thing like an idiot. That’s when you wish you had some real leadership on your team.”

At a press conference, Winslow said he had no recollection of meeting Gates.

“Antonio Gates? No I don’t remember meeting him,” said Winslow. “Yea I know him. He’s the tight end for the Chargers. Whatever. I can’t be doing all these meet and greets during warm-ups. I’ve got to concentrate and get my game face on. It only takes me about 2 minutes to do that, because my face is already fixed in a permanent scowl. Seriously, the last time I smiled was in 1993. I was 10 years old, and my dog had just gotten run over by a car. Just thinking back on it almost makes me want to smile again…Ow! Forget it. I’m not trying that again. I think I just broke a face muscle.”

Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.