NEW YORK--Cowboys defender Greg Hardy, who served a four-game suspension earlier this year for domestic assault, was spotted shoving a special teams coach and barking at teammates on Sunday in a loss against the Giants. The hulking pass rusher is seen by many as a loose cannon and ticking time bomb, but the Cowboys are defending him, mostly because they’re afraid he might kill them.

Owner Jerry Jones once again came to Hardy’s defense Sunday night.

“You know, Greg is one of the true leaders on this team,” he said, in response to question about Hardy’s abusive behavior. “What he was doing this afternoon was a way to fire up his teammates and coaches. And nothing fires up a special teams coach like a big, menacing ex-con hopped up on Monster energy drinks pushing and shoving him on national television. Incidentally, right after that happened we had a pretty nice punt. So it clearly worked.”

The Cowboys’ signing of Hardy was controversial in light of the frightening details of his domestic assault case. But Jones says the team did its due diligence and Hardy is a changed man.

“We all saw the arrest report,” Jones said. “And I’m not down playing what he did at all. It was reprehensible. But people can change, and we did our due diligence on the guy. We contacted his old coaches and teammates, his associates, pretty much everyone we could find and they all said, to a man, that he was a saint. Why else would people say these things if they weren’t true?”

Hardy was also seen jawing with injured receiver Dez Bryant. Surprisingly, even Bryant defended him after the game.

“That was nothing, just two brothers going at it,” said Bryant. “He came off the field and I was like, ‘Way to go, Greg’, and he turned around, like any teammate would, and threatened to kill me and my whole family. Hey, man, that’s football.  I really, really, really like the guy, though. He’s wonderful, a true role model. Can you guys tell him I said that? Oh, and he’s handsome, too. And ripped.”

Sources behind the scenes, however, paint a different picture.

“Oh my God, he’s terrifying,” said one source. “Have you seen the footage of him on the sidelines from yesterday? That’s nothing. He was being nice that day. I used to think Dez Bryant was crazy, but next to Greg, Dez looks like Tony Dungy. Dez Bryant is the reasonable one here. Dez. Bryant. This is a guy who once body slammed a water boy for trying to squirt Gatorade into his mouth.”

As for Hardy, he insists there is no friction between he and his teammates or coaches.

“It’s nothing, man. It’s all good. Me and Dez, we’re like brothers. And Jerry Jones? He’s like a father to me. What happened yesterday was just football. Why, have people been complaining about me? Wait - where are you going? Stop running! Come back! Geez, you throw one woman on a bed full of assault weapons and threaten to kill her, and all of a sudden everyone's afraid of you.”

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Cowboys Defending Greg Hardy So He Doesn’t Kill Them

October 26, 2015        
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