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CLEVELAND--Following a disheartening 34-7 loss to division rival Pittsburgh Steelers, the Cleveland Browns admitted on Monday that their season was pretty much over. Even head coach Romeo Crennel, who was optimistic about his team’s chances coming into the season, says now it’s time to “play out the string.”

“I was going to come up here and tell you guys that it’s a long season and we still have a bunch of games left to turn it around, but I’m not going to go that route,” Crennel said. “Instead I’m going to tell you we’re finished. Our season is over. It’s unfortunate, because the guys worked really hard to get themselves prepared, but I guess hard work doesn’t always equal success. That’s one valuable lesson we can all take from this season.”

Crennel said that the manner in which his team lost was especially disheartening.

“That’s a huge blowout against a division rival in the opening game of the season,” he said. “It makes you want to just forfeit the rest of your games and go home for the season. But we’re not going to do that. This team has too much pride. We will show up to the rest of our games, and we will play them, because we’ll lose a draft pick or something if we don’t.”

Wide receiver Braylon Edwards echoed his coach’s sentiments, saying there’s “no way” the team could salvage their season now.

“It’s a long season, but it’s not that long,” said Edwards. “It would have to be about 34 games for us to salvage it at this point. When you’re a young team with little experience or self-confidence, it’s absolutely crucial to get off to a good start. Now, is there a silver lining to all this? Yes, the silver lining is that we get to see what Brady Quinn can do now. Oh, sorry, Derek Anderson is the starter. So we get to see what Brady Quinn can do two weeks from now.”

Quarterback Charlie Frye, who started the game, was traded to the Seattle Seahawks on Monday for a late round draft pick, leaving Anderson and Brady Quinn as the two main QB’s on the depth chart. Since the season is over, Quinn should be the official starter in no time.

“Brady is coming along well but he’s not quite ready to start yet,” said Crennel. “Even though the season is over, that doesn’t mean we can just throw him into the fire all haphazardly. He could end up getting hurt. And as we saw this preseason, there’s nothing worse than getting your star player hurt in a meaningless game.”

With 2007 already in the toilet, is there any hope for resurgence in 2008? Probably not, says veteran linebacker Willie McGinest.

“It’s tempting to say ‘Wait until next year,’ but I don’t think that applies here,” said McGinest. “We have such a young team and we’re in such a terrible rut that I believe it will be three or four years until we’re able to pull out of it. That being said, people shouldn’t give up on the Cleveland Browns just yet. We still could surprise some people and finish two or three games under .500 next season.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

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Browns Admit Season Is Pretty Much Over

September 12 , 2007 Volume 2 Issue 110
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