NEW YORK--With nearly every player invited to the 2010 Pro Bowl declining the invitation, the annual exhibition has been “re-tooled” and will now consist of one player from each conference playing each other in a game of Madden 2010. The players, Jacksonville quarterback David Garrard and Dallas receiver Miles Austin, are the only two players who agreed to play in the Pro Bowl.

The game will take place at the ESPN Zone in New York and the winner will receive a cap emblazoned with his conference’s logo. Commissioner Roger Goodell called the re-tolling of the Pro Bowl “exciting” and “refreshing.”

“This is a really exciting and refreshing twist on the Pro Bowl,” Goodell said on Tuesday. “We’re taking the traditional version of the Pro Bowl and condensing it – boiling it down – to its absolute essence: individual competition between two players. I think people are really going to enjoy it and it could be a model for future Pro Bowls – that is, if we can continue to get two players to show up for it.”

Initially, the league was planning to play the conventional version of the Pro Bowl, but a record number of disinterest, no-shows, and injuries forced them to consider a new strategy. According to a league source, every single Pro Bowl invitee except Austin and Garrard declined.

“This is what we’ve been leading up to all these years,” said the source. “Finally, pretty much every player who was invited turned down the invitation. Even the reserves. Even the rookies. I guess the appeal of a trip to Miami to play football isn’t what it used to be, especially when it’s infringing on your trip to Bermuda to play golf.”

The game will consist of four 10-minute quarters. A coin flip will determine who gets first choice of teams. The entire event will be broadcast on ESPN2 by tape delay at 2 a.m. Saturday night.

Garrard said he was excited to represent his conference in the big game.

“This is going to be really exciting for me to do this,” said Garrard. “I’ve always wanted to represent the AFC in a game of Madden against the NFC. Would I rather be playing in the an actual game? No. Not really. I played in several actual games this year and it was a big waste of time. At least in Madden you can’t get hurt. And I can use the Colts.”

As for Austin, he said he was surprised to hear the normal Pro Bowl would not be played, but he would do his best to make the NFC proud in the re-tooled version.

“I kind of expected to be playing in an actual game with actual players,” said Austin. “But this is cool, too. It’ll be fun to play against David and try to get a win for the NFC. And I guess it will be nice to get that hat if I win. It’s one of those trucker hats that are kind of in-style now. And the ESPN Zone has good buffalo wings. And…okay this is hugely disappointing and I regret even having a Pro Bowl season this year.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2010, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





Pro Bowl Reduced To One Player From Each Conference Playing Each Other In Madden

January 26, 2010           
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