49ers Not Mentioned In Recap Of 49ers-Bears Game

SAN FRANCISCO--In yet another slap in the face to the beleaguered franchise, the San Francisco 49ers were not even mentioned in a recap of Sunday’s game against the Bears. The official Associated Press wire article described the Bears’ special teams play along with their 5-game winning streak, but never once acknowledged that the 49ers took part in the contest.

On Monday, the team was still trying to come to terms with the slight.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said linebacker Julian Peterson, staring at the article in disbelief. “Nowhere on here does it say anything about us. It’s like we weren’t even there. Let’s see, they start off talking about that long touchdown on the missed field goal, then they talk about Cedric Benson getting hurt, then they talk about the Bears’ winning streak. He-lo? We played in this game, too. Look at this here, in the last paragraph: ‘The opponent managed only 161 total yards on offense.’ 161 yards? Wow, now I’m kind of glad they didn’t mention us.”

The 49ers are 2-7 this season and in the midst of a rebuilding project that has transformed them from an elite franchise to one of the league’s doormats. The team has grown accustomed to being disrespected, but the latest incident is a new low.

“Man, this is bullshit. We were on that field, too,” said wide receiver Brandon Lloyd, who caught the 49ers only pass, a 28-yarder from Cody Pickett. “Are you telling me that whoever wrote this didn’t even notice we were there? Jesus, that’s sad. I miss the old days when I’d be in the paper every Monday and all over the highlight reels making those great catches. No, wait a minute. That wasn't me. That was Jerry Rice.”

Some on the team are using the slight as extra motivation. Head coach Mike Nolan hung the article up on the bulletin board Monday morning to remind his team how much they'd been disrespected.

“This is definitely bulletin board material for us,” Nolan said. “Whenever you see something like this, you feel slighted and it hurts your pride. It can give you an edge. We are nowhere to be found in this article. Nowhere. If that doesn’t light a fire under you, I don’t know what will. It’s lit a fire under me, that’s for sure. Grrrr! I’m angry! Kill kill kill! We must protect this house! Is everybody pissed or what? No? Oh, OK. Well I guess I should just stop making a fool out of myself then.”

Veteran running back Kevan Barlow had a similar response.

“This is just going to piss us off even more. It’s going to give us a little bit of an extra edge going into next week’s game,” he said. “Who are we playing next week? Seattle? Oh, God, help us. We have no chance. They are going to humiliate us. Why, God, why, must we continue this soul-crushing charade every week? I know, to the casual observer this doesn’t seem like an edge, but it’s actually much better than last week.”

When reached for comment, the author of the article claimed that he “totally forgot” to include the 49ers in the recap of the game.

“The 49ers? Oh yea, the 49ers,” said James Reed of the Associated Press. “I totally forgot to include them in the recap of the Bears game. Let’s see here. According to the stat sheet, they didn’t do anything noteworthy. They only had 28 yards passing. Wait a minute, 28 yards? Jesus, that is noteworthy. I’m going to have to write a special, four-part investigative series about how sucky these guys are. 49ers, you’re about to get your wish!”

The last time the 49ers received a significant amount of media coverage was when they drafted quarterback Alex Smith with the number one pick. Smith remains on the sidelines, but could return to the field soon if the situation doesn’t improve. For his part, Smith said he is up to the challenge.

“My coaches know that I’m ready,” said Smith, who has struggled mightily in limited playing time this year. “All I can do is practice hard every week, learn the system and prepare myself for the day when I’ll be starting. The good thing for me is that I signed a huge contract and got a lot of guaranteed money with the signing bonus. I could, theoretically, mail it in for the rest of the year, for the rest of my career, actually, and walk away a very rich man. However, that’s plan B. Plan A is to try and get this team back on track. You don't even want to know what plan C is.”