ATLANTA--A small but determined army of dipshits showed up at the Georgia Dome on Sunday to throw their support behind controversial quarterback Michael Vick, who played in Atlanta two years ago before being jailed for dog fighting. The dipshits, clad in Mike Vick jerseys, chanted slogans and generally embarrassed themselves for the duration of the Eagles 34-7 victory over the Falcons.

“We love you Michael!” shouted one member of the dipshit army, holding up a sign reading “Vick Fan 4-Eva!” “God bless you! Welcome back to Atlanta! God forgives you!”

Another dipshit held a sign that simply read “Praise Jesus!” and waved it around all game like a retard. Meanwhile, scores of fat women in Vick t-shirts gathered behind the Eagles bench and screamed at the QB whenever he approached.

“We just wanted to show Michael that he is welcome in Atlanta any time and that we forgive him,” said Lorena Jackson, 47-year-old dipshit. “We know he made mistakes and stuff but God forgives everybody. That’s why we’re – oh wait here he comes! Michael! Michael! We love you! Welcome back, baby! We forgive you!!! See, you can tell he feels better knowing that I forgive him.”

Another dipshit took a break from her insane dancing to exchange words with a Vick protester who was standing nearby:

“Why don’t you take those signs down, honey? You don’t know Mike Vick. You don’t know him at all. You ever walk a mile in the man’s shoes? I didn’t think so. What’s that? Yea, he killed dogs. Y’all should open your minds and let the forgiveness of the Lord in, before I break that sign over your goddamn fat head.”

The dipshit army proved to be a nuisance even to neutral observers who were simply there to watch the game.

“I don’t really care about the whole Vick thing either way. I'm just here to watch the game, ” said 52-year-old season ticket holder Dan Lehman. “But these broads just won’t shut up. At one point they were singing church songs! Hello? This isn’t a church. It’s a football game. And Vick isn’t Jesus. He’s a moron who killed a bunch of dogs. And there are spelling mistakes in some of those signs. I haven’t seen a less literate group of protesters since the Tea Party they had here a few months ago.”

For his part, Vick gave his supporters something to cheer about, scoring two touchdowns in his team’s rout of the Falcons. After the game, he thanked his supporters and said it was “good to be back home.”

“I just wanna thank all those people who came out today and supported me,” Vick said. “I was a little nervous about how I would be welcomed, but it turned out better than I expected. Way better. Some of these people were treating me like a hero! Me! A hero! It's kind of weird. I mean I know I paid my debt to society and everything, but remember: I was really that great of a guy in the first place.”

Vick then left the facility with a group of bodyguards to protect him from his supporters.

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.