Kyle Orton Thinks There’s Quarterback Controversy In Chicago

CHICAGO--After being pulled out of Sunday’s game against the Falcons and replaced by Rex Grossman, rookie Kyle Orton is preparing himself for a quarterback controversy. Though Grossman has already been named the starter for next week, Orton knows the issue is not dead, and is bracing himself for a media firestorm.

“Oh that is going to a controversial decision,” Orton told reporters Monday. “Watch out, boys, there’s a shitstorm coming. Seriously, the talk radio shows and the fans are going to be pretty divided about this. I just hope it’s not going to be a distraction for the team. I don’t want to see a divided locker room. If coach says that Rex is the starter, then he’s the starter. Just don’t blame me when the fans start turning on you.”

When Grossman entered the game, he was greeted by a thunderous ovation from the crowd and high-fives from his teammates. His mere presence in the huddle energized the entire offense. As Orton watched from the sideline, he knew he had some competition.

“Rex can definitely play this game,” he said. “He’s a good kid, too. We actually get along really well. God only knows how this crazy roller coaster ride will all work out, but you can bet we’ll still be friends. And to all of my fans out there, I just want to say thanks for supporting me and keep the faith. Don’t boo Rex, though. I want you to support whoever is in there. And don’t through ice balls at him, either, like you did to me the other night.”

While Orton believes there is a quarterback controversy in Chicago, his teammates and coaches disagree. Most see Grossman as the quarterback of the future and Orton as his permanent backup.

“It’s kind of sad that Kyle thinks there’s some controversy here,” said receiver Mushin Muhammad. “Rex is obviously the better quarterback and he’s obviously the man to lead us to the playoffs. Don’t get me wrong, Kyle is great at throwing those passes at my feet and whizzing them over my head. He’s just not good at throwing them at the receivers. Once he gets that down, he’ll be a much better quarterback.”

Like many of his teammates, Muhammad doesn’t have the heart to tell Orton that the quarterback controversy exists only in his imagination.

“I don’t want to break the guy’s heart,” he continued. “The poor kid is just delusional. After the game Sunday he came up to me and asked if I wanted to get together for some ‘extra work’ after practice tomorrow. You know, so we can improve our timing and stuff. I was like ‘Nah, I don’t want to mess with the chemistry we have now.’ It’s partly true, I guess. Since I don’t want anything to do with him, I guess I don’t want to mess with our chemistry.”

Coach Lovie Smith named Grossman the starter early in the week, and even he admitted that the choice was obvious.

“I looked at the tapes to determine which quarterback was more effective, and obviously it was Rex. Kyle Orton is going to be holding a clipboard for the remainder of this year, and possibly for the rest of his career. If he wants to believe there’s some controversy, that’s fine by me. Maybe it will motivate him to be a better backup quarterback, or, starting next season, a practice squad quarterback.”

As of Tuesday morning, however, Orton still believed he was embroiled in a quarterback controversy. He insisted that it would not be a distraction and that he remained focused on his goal of bringing a Super Bowl to the city of Chicago.

“No matter what the media and the fans say, we are all in this thing together,” Orton said. “The fact that I’ve had my starting job temporarily taken away from me is not going to change my attitude. In fact, I feel like I can be a real mentor to Rex. When the smoke clears from this whole circus, I think we’ll both be a stronger team. I think I’ll be the starter, too. Remember, Rex is from Florida. Florida quarterbacks never make it in the NFL.”