Saints Bury Drew Brees In Symbolic Attempt To Put Last Season Behind Them

JACKSON, MS--In an effort to stave off complacency and put last season behind them, the New Orleans Saints held a mock funeral on Monday in which they placed quarterback Drew Brees in a coffin and buried him in a large hole in the ground. A preacher then performed “last rites,” and the team officially said goodbye to the wildly successful 2006-2007 season.

“What an emotional ceremony that was,” said running back Deuce McAllister. “First they lowered Drew into the ground, and then we each had to take a shovel full of dirt and drop it onto the coffin. I cried a little, but you know, life is a constant cycle of birth and death, decay and renewal, and by burying the past we force ourselves to look toward the future. I think that’s the message the coaches wanted to get across. Either that or Drew was late for practice and this is some sort of accountability thing.”

As of Monday morning, Brees was still underground and rookie Tyler Palko was receiving the majority of snaps with the first team. Coach Sean Payton said Brees would be missed but felt it was important to send a strong message to the team.

“It was something that [assistant head coach] Joe Vitt came to me with, and I thought it was a good idea so we just went with it,” said Sean Payton. “Burying Drew, who was such an integral part of our success last season, was a way to say goodbye to the past and start anew. I think it really had an effect on the team. It certainly had an effect on Drew. In fact, I think it’s safe to say he got the message better than anyone.”

Brees’ casket is buried near the end zone of the team’s training camp facility at Millsap College in Jackson, Mississippi. Teammates say that whenever they pass near the area, they are reminded that the past is dead.

“This morning I caught a touchdown pass and I ran right over the spot where Drew is buried,” said receiver Marques Colston. “I felt a tinge of nostalgia, but also a deep realization that today is all that we have and the past is dead. I also heard a faint scratching and whimpering sound coming from under the ground. Whew. Powerful stuff. This is much better than when my college coach deflated a football and then re-inflated it to symbolize starting anew.”

Running back Reggie Bush had mixed emotions about the burial and admitted to being “a bit jealous” that he wasn’t the one chosen by the coaching staff to symbolize the success of the 2006 season.

“The first thing I thought was ‘Okay, Drew had a nice season, but if you’re thinking about the 2006 Saints, aren’t you thinking about Reggie Bush?’” he said. “When they lowered him into the ground I thought ‘That should be me. I’m the poster boy for the awesomeness of last season.’ But after a while the jealousy subsided and I realized they didn’t select me because I was too valuable to be buried alive. Plus I wouldn’t want that anyway. I get claustrophobic sometimes and that would probably just upset my stomach.”

When asked how he would motivate his team next season if they won the Super Bowl this season, Payton just shrugged his shoulders. Only one season matters to him right now and it’s the one starting on September 6th in Indianapolis.

“I guess we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it,” Payton said. “I can say one thing, though. We won’t be holding another mock funeral and burying somebody again. That kind of thing can lose its impact if you do it too much. At some point you’re just beating a dead horse, which, incidentally, is exactly what we’re planning to do before we play the Colts on opening night.”

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