Browns Really Impressed With Winslow’s Yelling Ability

CLEVELAND, OH--Kellen Winslow caused quite a stir when he made his debut with the Cleveland Browns last weekend. The brash wide receiver caught a long touchdown pass in practice and followed it up with a verbal tirade against the cornerback that blew the coverage. Winslow’s amazing receiving skills have never been in doubt, but the Browns have been pleasantly surprised by his yelling ability.

“Wow, listen to that guy yell,” said head coach Butch Davis. “He’s really, really good at it. He has great pitch, booming volume, and lots of really scary facial expressions. We’ve needed a good tight end on this team for a while, but Kellen gives us more than that. He gives us the screaming for no reason at all that we’ve been missing these past few years.”

Davis and his staff have been particularly impressed with the sheer strength of Winslow’s vocal chords. While many players occasionally yell during practice, the young tight end yells constantly, as if he’s hard of hearing.

“Holy shit, did you hear him screaming at his teammates in the huddle just now?” asked Davis. “I don’t know what he was saying, but you’ve got to have some crazy vocal chords to be able to hit that kind of decibel level. If there was a Superbowl for yelling, we’d win it this year, hands down.”

One incident that made a lasting impression on Davis took place on Winslow’s first day with the team. As he visited with the equipment manager to pick up his uniform, helmet, and cleats, the rookie’s amazingly loud voice was heard for the first time.

“Gimme a size 11 shoe, motherfucker!” screamed Winslow at the bewildered equipment manager, Ted. “You got a problem with that? You better improve your intensity, man. You gotta take it to another level! Come on, motherfucker, let’s go! What are you, deaf? Oh…sorry.”

Winslow’s teammates are hoping his unique skills will help transform them from a moribund, lackluster franchise into a Super Bowl champion. Jeff Garcia, who will be taking the majority of the snaps for the Browns this year, said that what Winslow brings to the team is more important than touchdowns and individual statistics.

“Yelling is something that doesn’t show up on the stat sheet, so you’re not going to hear a lot about it from around the league,” said Garcia. “But it’s not all about playing and catching the ball. Kellen does a lot of things really well. He’s got a great scowl, he has a really intimidating glare, he walks with a swagger normally reserved for drug dealers and gang members, and he’s just generally overbearing and annoying. According to Michael Irvin, that kind of thing can really light a fire under a team.”

Browns fans are buzzing about their first round draft pick, and some are even talking playoffs, only a year after the team finished 5-11. Can one man make all the difference? ESPN's Ron Jaworski thinks so.

“Kellen Winslow Jr. is the ultimate competitor,” said Jaworski on NFL Primetime. “He is exactly what the Cleveland Browns have been lacking for the past three years. Now let me show you why. Guys, roll the tape. Now, you can see the Browns are huddled on the field during a scrimmage. The quarterback, Jeff Garcia, is relaying the play to his teammates. But wait. There’s Kellen Winslow, interrupting his quarterback to begin yelling at offensive lineman Ross Verba. He’s really getting in Verba’s face now, and you can see Verba actually lift Winslow over his head, twirl him around in circles and body slam him to the field. Now right here, if you slow down the tape, you can see an enraged Ross Verba repeatedly kicking Winslow in the head until four teammates finally manage to pull him off. Now that is the kind of intensity that the Browns need if they’re going to win the Superbowl this year, and they have Kellen Winslow to thank for it.”