SEATTLE--The Seattle Seahawks first pick in the 2007 draft doesn’t come until the second round, so the chances of landing a blue chip prospect are fairly slim. However, noting the unpredictable nature of the draft, the ‘Hawks are still holding out hope that a franchise player, such as Georgia Tech wideout Calvin Johnson, will drop to them at the 55th pick.

“Everybody here really has their fingers crossed that something good will happen for us,” said GM Tim Ruskell. “The way I see it, if Oakland goes with Russell and the Lions go with Joe Thomas and the Browns go with Brady Quinn and the Bucs trade down for some value picks and Arizona drafts someone else and the Redskins do something stupid, we feel like we have a chance at this guy. Long shot? Yes. That’s why we’re taking a pragmatic approach to it. If he falls to us, great. If not, we just won’t select anybody in that spot.”

Ruskell has already spoken to Johnson’s agent, Bus Cook, about possible parameters for a contract and signing bonus.

“We’ve had some preliminary talks with Bus and Calvin,” Ruskell said. “Looks like they’re going to want first round money even if they fall to the second round. Hey, I don’t blame him. The kid’s a blue chipper and he wants to be paid accordingly. We can just give him a nice signing bonus and a back loaded deal so if he’s a bust we can cut him after the first couple years. Of course, he’s not going to be a bust. It’s simply not possible. I read it on the internet.”

Unfortunately for the Seahawks and their fans, it looks like one of the teams with a Top 5 pick will scoop up Johnson before he has a chance to fall. Some are even predicting the Raiders will select him with the first pick, though it appears more likely he will go second, third, or fourth. Whoever gets him, scouts say, will have a franchise player on their hands.

“He’s the best prospect in the draft by far,” said one scout, after watching Johnson perform at the combine. “If he slips to the second round, I’ll…actually, forget it. There’s no way he’s slipping to the second round. The Seahawks need to trade up if they want a shot at him. I suggest sending a sixth round pick to the Raiders for their number one. Just remind them Tom Brady was picked in the sixth round. They’ll think they’re getting the steal of the century.”

The Seahawks aren’t putting much stock into rumors that Tampa Bay, Cleveland, and Detroit are eyeing Johnson, since teams at the top of the draft often send out misinformation to conceal their true intentions.

“Never, ever put stock into what teams say before the draft,” Ruskell said. “Most of it is just misinformation. Look at me. I’ve been telling everybody that Calvin Johnson is 5’6 and 185 pounds and that he’s actually a punter from Montana State. Is it true? Maybe. Maybe not. See, this is called a ‘smoke screen.’ Now people aren’t going to know what to make of this guy.”

Since leaving school, Johnson has done everything in his power to prove he is worthy of being the top pick. Even if he goes second or third, the classy, humble receiver has promised to sign with whichever team picks him.

“I’ll happily sign with whatever team drafts me,” said Johnson. “It’s a privilege to be playing in the NFL at all, especially when you go in the top three or four picks, because you get all that signing bonus money which guarantees that even if you’re a bust you’ve still had a wildly successful career by an normal person’s standards. Not that I’m going to be a bust. It’s just that I’ve heard some whispers about my work ethic, and I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.