CLEVELAND--The Cleveland Cavaliers underwent a major makeover recently when GM Danny Ferry traded Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes, Cedric Simmons, and Shannon Brown for Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Joe Smith, and Delonte West, a move was made in part to placate frustrated star Lebron James.

Following a victory over the Chicago Bulls on Sunday in which he took over the game late in the fourth quarter, James said he was “excited” to have new teammates to carry on his back.

“The new guys have injected a lot of life into the team,” said James. “Of course, they’re really not much better than the guys they replaced, but it’s nice to have some new blood around here. At least now when I score all of our points in the fourth quarter, it’s a different group of guys who will be mobbing me at the end of the game.”

James also lauded his new teammates’ ability to stay out of his way.

“The way they all politely stepped aside while I won the game was real encouraging,” he said. “It’s not easy to do that. A lot of guys will want to make plays of their own, but these guys are content to let me carry them. I loved that about my old teammates too, but this is better, because I’m not sick of these guys yet. I actually haven’t even formally met all of them.”

But is James in a better position to win a title than he was two weeks ago? That, he said, remains to be seen.

“It’s hard to tell right now if we’ve really improved enough to win a title,” said James. “We lost some decent, not-awful players and gained some decent, not-awful players. Is it a wash? Yes, though we do have fewer tattoos than we did before and one less hideous beard and a few more muscles. So from an aesthetic standpoint we have changed a bit. And um…I guess that’s why they made this trade?”

James’ new teammates seem to be adjusting to their new supporting roles well. However, they do feel they can make some contributions aside from simply staying out of Lebron’s way.

“I know I’m not going to be the man of this team,” said Szczerbiak after the win over the Bulls. “But I can definitely make some contributions. I actually hit a couple of big three pointers today, remember? And I can pass a little, too, and even play some defense if the match-up is right. So I’ll just show up to play every day and try to be ready when my number is called. Then I’ll get hurt. Then I’ll get traded again. Is anyone else starting to see a pattern here?”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.