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NEW YORK--With the start of the 2007 postseason upon us, Major League Baseball, in conjunction with the players union, has chosen “This Team Has Battled All Year” as the official cliché of the 2007 playoffs. The cliché was selected because of its widespread popularity among players and coaches and because so many of the playoff teams have battled all year to get to where they are. “This is a really appropriate cliché because of the way these teams have battled this year,” said players union head Donald Fehr. “Also, it’s already being repeated ad nauseum in every interview so adopting it was a mere formality. I think it will be beneficial to players looking for something to say and also for sportswriters looking for a nice, fluffy sound bite. Also, I think it’s snappier and more concise than last year’s cliché, ‘Nobody Gave Us a Chance This Year Except For the People in That Clubhouse and the Fans of This Great City.’” By Monday morning, nearly every player that qualified for the postseason was utilizing the official cliché of the 2007 playoffs. “It’s just really gratifying because of the way this team battled all year,” said Phillies second baseman Chase Utley. “Even when people were leaving us for dead, we never quit. We just kept grinding it out until finally we won the division. That’s the thing about this team: we battle. Even when we’re down, we battle. Other teams don’t do that. Other teams just get demoralized and then lose on purpose. I can’t imagine doing that. We try to win in every situation. I think that’s what separates us from the rest of the league.” Another team that has battled all year is the Boston Red Sox. Though they were pushed by the New York Yankees in the final weeks of the season, they never relinquished their grip on first place. “This team battled all year to get to where we are today,” said first baseman Kevin Youkilis. “All year teams were trying to beat us, and some of them did, but then we won a lot of games, too, and we ended up winning the division. The Yankees put some pressure on us at the end, but we battled to the tune of getting swept by the Blue Jays and then fattening up on the Devil Rays to barely hold on. That’s what’s so great about this team: when the stakes are high, we keep playing, and sometimes we win.” Even teams that struggled during the second half of the season are patting themselves on the back. The Chicago Cubs, who won baseball’s weakest division by only a two-game margin, credited themselves with “battling all year” and “overcoming adversity” down the stretch. “For a while it looked like the Brewers were going to overtake us,” said first baseman Derek Lee. “But it’s time like that when you have to just go out there and play baseball. We lost a lot of games, but we played, dammit, we went out there and we played! Eventually the Brewers shit the bed and the rest of the teams curled up and died and we were the ones left standing. The point is, this team battled all year to get where we are today. How many teams can you say that about?” Several teams who failed to make the playoffs nonetheless feel they battled all year, especially the ones that finished with winning records. As a result, many have attempted to hijack the official cliché of the 2007 playoffs for non-playoff use. “I’m so proud of this team,” said Seattle Mariners manager John McLaren. “I know that we didn’t make the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t battle. We battled. We actually finished with a better record than the Cubs. Yea, we choked late in the season, but 'choking' late in the season is called ‘battling’ if you end up surviving to win the division. You follow me? Basically, if other teams in your division are too shitty to overtake you, you are ‘battlers,’ and if they are really good you are ‘chokers.’ It's a fine line, really.” Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.
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‘This Team Battled All Year’ Named Official Cliché Of 2007 Playoffs |
October 2 , 2007 Volume 2 Issue 112 |
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