Isiah To Countersue Browne Sanders For Refusing To Sleep With Him

NEW YORK--The explosive sexual harassment case involving Isiah Thomas and the Knicks has taken another unexpected turn. According the New York Daily News, Thomas plans to countersue his accuser, Anucha Browne Sanders, for refusing to sleep with him.

Thomas will cite a “systematic pattern of refusal and non-cooperation” in his countersuit, which is expected to demand around $50 million.

“We do plan to file a countersuit against Miss Browne Sanders,” said William Dalton, one of Thomas’ attorneys. “The suit will detail her repeated refusal to sleep with Mr. Thomas despite his relentless advances. He cornered her and rubbed up against her on several occasions, only to be rebuked with cruel remarks and physical resistance. This is, of course, a clear example of insubordination and paints a detailed picture of why she needed to be fired.”

Dalton also noted that the insubordination gave Thomas clear justification for referring to Sanders as a “bitch.”

“It’s obvious that Mr. Thomas was perfectly justified in calling Miss Browne Sanders a bitch,” said Dalton. “She disrespected him as a man and undercut him as a boss. As any male knows, being spurned sexually creates a deep well of resentment and anger and often results in lashing out in the form of name calling and verbal or physical abuse. Furthermore, if she was so averse to sleeping with Mr. Thomas, why did she take the job in the first place? We believe it was a money grab. ”

The suit will be formally filed early next week and is expected to bring to light several lurid details about Browne Sanders’ relationship with Thomas, including an allegation that she refused make out with him at a party celebrating that Knicks’ 24th victory last season.

According to Thomas’ version of events, “The whole organization was at the Olive Garden in Times Square engaged in a joyous celebration of our 24th victory, which put us one over last year’s total, and I, drunk off White Zinfandel, wrapped my arms around Miss Sanders and plunged my tongue into her mouth. She immediately shoved me away and ran to ladies room to brush her teeth, where I followed her, only to have the door slammed in my face. To my credit, I allowed her to keep her job at that time.”

On another occasion, Thomas entered Browne Sanders’ office with no pants on and received only a cold stare and a request to retrieve the pants.

“My pants were off,” Thomas recalled. “At that point there was ample evidence that I was interested in having sex, but Miss Browne Sanders refused to cooperate, instead telling me to put my pants on and giving me a cold, terrified stare that made me feel, frankly, embarrassed. My [penis] basically crawled into my midsection and hid. I haven’t seen it since.”

Dalton said the countersuit would turn the tables on Sanders and prove that Thomas is the real victim in all this.

“For her to paint herself as a victim is deplorable,” said Dalton. “I ask you: Whose sexual advances are being spurned? Whose pride is being bruised and battered? Who is being sent home from work every day sexually frustrated, with only his hand and a head shot of Miss Browne Sanders to give him comfort? Who? It’s Isiah Thomas, that’s who. Doesn’t he have enough to deal with being one of the worst GM’s in the history of sports?”

Legal analysts say the suit probably doesn’t have any merit, since Sanders is not actually obligated to have sex with her employer. Still, if it does go to trial it could prove more explosive than the current suit against Thomas.

“I don’t see this suit as having much merit,” said ESPN legal analyst Roger Cossack. “Miss Browne Sanders has the right to refuse sex to anyone she wants. However, if it does go to trial for some reason, it would probably be a thousand times more awesome than the current case, so let’s all say a prayer that this thing pushes through, because there is nothing more entertaining than watching Isiah Thomas try to justify the stuff he says and does.”

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