ATLANTA--Receiver Ashley Lelie was so displeased about playing second-fiddle to Rod Smith in Denver that he held out of training camp and demanded to be traded. After 23 days and $982,000 in fines, Lelie got his wish and was sent to the Atlanta Falcons, where his main job will be to act as a third receiver and run decoy routes for tight end Alge Crumpler.

Lelie says it was worth every penny to get out of Denver.

“I just wasn’t fitting in with the Broncos and I needed to go somewhere I was needed,” said Lelie, who had to repay $660,000 of his signing bonus in addition to the $14,000 per day for missing camp. “In Atlanta, they can always use an extra body to run decoy routes for Alge Crumpler. Just watching him make those catches from the opposite side of the field will be a thrill. What do you think of that, Coach Shanahan? Checkmate!”

It was a long, hard struggle for Lelie to break free from the Broncos. His training camp holdout became a battle of wills between himself and Mike Shanahan. The deadlock was finally broken when Atlanta emerged as a viable suitor for his services.

“I’m not going to lie to you. It was extremely stressful skipping camp like that,” Lelie said. “It weighs on you, because people start to think you’re selfish and greedy and you don't care about the team. While that may be true, you don’t want it to become public knowledge because then everyone starts criticizing you, and that’s not fair. You shouldn't criticize people just because they're being selfish.”

In addition to running decoy routes for Crumpler, Lelie will be an emergency third option if Michael Jenkins and Roddy White, numbers one and two on the depth chart, are covered. He will also be asked to run towards the end zone on broken plays.

Quarterback Michael Vick said a decoy/emergency receiver is a crucial weapon in any quarterback’s arsenal.

“We are trying to get our wide receivers more involved this year, and having somebody like Ashley there is a good thing,” Vick told reporters today. “There are a lot of times when a play gets mangled from the get-go and I’m just looking to heave the ball deep. Lelie is the kind of guy who can outrun people. It’s sort of similar to his role with the Broncos, only he’ll probably end up with less catches here than he had there. So he paid $982,000 to um….get less catches and live in a city that is so humid you can’t leave the house without a change of clothes. At least he’s not in it for the money.”

Jenkins and White welcomed the addition of Lelie to the receiving corps and believe his presence will allow them to get open easier. Both took a back seat to Crumpler last season but are hoping to emerge as legitimate threats this year.

“The coaches tell us we’re going to be more involved in the offense this year,” said Jenkins, who had 36 catches for 508 yards last year. “They say that Mike is going to start looking to his receivers more. That’s what they say, anyway. What happens on the field is a different story. Something tells me that Mike is going to put the ball into the arms of his boyfriend, Alge Crumpler, like he always does. I don’t know. If I was a disgruntled receiver looking for more touches, there are about a dozen teams I would prefer to be on than this one. Which reminds me - do the Broncos have an opening at receiver now?”

To get Lelie, the Falcons dealt running back TJ Duckett to the Redskins in a three-team deal that landed the Broncos a draft pick. Duckett, who played second fiddle to Warrick Dunn last year, was expendable for the Falcons, as was Lelie for the Broncos. Experts say that both teams got what they wanted from the deal.

“It’s a good deal on both sides,” said one NFC scout. “Denver gets rid of a pain in the ass and receives a draft pick and return, the Falcons get a speedster that could open things up for the rest of the receiving corps, and the ‘Skins get a guy who can back up Clinton Portis. All things considered, the biggest loser here is Lelie, who sacrificed a lot of money to get what he wanted. The other loser is his agent, who just ensured that nobody will ever sign with him again.”

Lelie’s agent, Peter Schaffer, defended his actions, saying it was Lelie’s dumb idea in the first place and that he was just going along for the ride.

  Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.