FOXBORO--Following their 21-12 victory over the San Diego Chargers in the AFC Conference Championship, the New England Patriots had a message for the imaginary people who doubted them: this one’s for you.

“This game is for anyone out there who doubted us this week,” said linebacker Tedy Bruschi. “I’m talking about…um...that guy from that one San Diego paper who said the Chargers had a chance, and whichever talking head on ESPN said we might not win, and, most likely, some asshole message board posters who thought we might not cover the spread. I don’t know your names, but I know you’re out there. Probably. I mean, I’m assuming it. Anyway, keep doubting us. We like that way.”

When Tom Brady was picked off for the third time in the second half of the game, many of the imaginary doubters probably thought the Patriots were finished. However, they turned out to be wrong once again when the Pats took control of the game in the fourth quarter.

“When Tom threw those picks, things were looking pretty grim,” said cornerback Ellis Hobbs. “But even though the rest of the country probably thought we were going to lose, or at the very least break a sweat, we knew they were wrong. It just feels so good to shut those people up! I’m talking to you, John Madden! Of course, he never publicly doubted us, but I’m sure deep in the recesses of his brain there was some seed of doubt. Heh. Now who’s laughing, asshole?”

Patriots players even took the unusual step of posting quotes from non-existent doubters in their locker room. One quote, which was found crumpled up on the floor after the game, read “The Patriots are a bunch of gay pussies who can’t beat the Chargers because they’re gay.”

“Yea we definitely had a little bulletin board material this week,” said safety Rodney Harrison. “We were 17-0 coming into this game. We never lose. Yet here we were, in the week leading up to the game, and everybody was saying we were paper tigers. Well, not everybody, but there was this one guy on a message board – I think his name was GoBoltz21 -- who was like, ‘Patsies go down today they r faggots Bill Belichick is a cheater LOL go Bolts!’ Oh yea? Well this one’s for you, GoBoltz21!”

The Patriots now have one more game standing between them and a perfect season. Surprisingly, there are still some out there who believe the Giants can win, a point that is not lost on this proud Patriots team.

“We’ve heard some people out there saying they think the Giants can beat us,” said Harrison. “Most of them are Giants players and coaches, but still, it’s disrespectful for them to think that. I actually heard someone over there say ‘We think we match up well against them.’ Jesus, who are you, Joe Namath? Why don’t you just come to our field and take a shit on our logo?”

On Tuesday morning, lineman Matt Light commented that the Giants are “a good team.” His quote, which infuriated Patriots players, was immediately hung on the bulletin board for a little extra incentive.

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.