Study: Being In Gang Actually Way More Fun Than Playing Sports

NEW YORK--Despite the claims of community leaders, police officers, and social workers, a recent study shows that being in a street gang is actually way more fun than playing organized sports. The study, conducted by the Center for Juvenile Criminal Justice (CJCJ), said the thrilling adrenaline rush of being a gang member far surpassed the fleeting gratification of being a member of a sports team.

“Well that proves what I’ve suspected all along,” said Martha Sampson, director of CJCJ. “It actually is way cooler and more fun to hang out on the streets and ‘gangbang’ than it is to join some stupid football team and get yelled at by a coach all day. I guess that’s why it’s so hard to keep kids away from gangs. They’re awesome.”

Sampson did point out, however, that being in a gang is extremely dangerous and kids should be encouraged to play sports anyway. It may not be as fun, but it’s a lot safer.

“Sure, when you’re playing sports you don’t get to drink all that malt liquor and wear those scary clothes and carry around weapons,” said Sampson. “But on the other hand, you have much less chance of being shot down in a hail of gunfire--unless you play for the Portland Trail Blazers or Baltimore Ravens. That’s like the best of both worlds.”

The study confirms what many inner city youths have been saying all along. In places like South Central Los Angeles, kids are choosing gangs over athletics, mostly because it’s more fun. While organized sports can be physically demanding and require discipline and respect for authority figures, gangbanging does not.

“When I was 15, I had a choice between joining the ‘113th Street Thugz’ or my high school football team,” said Tyree, 19, a Harlem gang member for three years. “Everyone told me to play football and stay away from gangs, so I did. But man, it was harder work than I expected.”

Soon after signing up, Tyree learned the playing sports requires commitment and dedication.

“The thing is, you have to practice every day. That was tough, especially when I would see my homies hanging out on the street corner, smoking and drinking, while I was walking up to the practice field with a bag of equipment over my shoulder. That’s when I realized football ain't for me. So I joined the gang. It’s been a lot of fun so far. We hang out, drink beer, steal stuff, and beat people up. I feel so sorry for all the kids out there who got mixed up in sports. They need to know that there's a better way. ”

Another gang member noted that sports are fun only for certain people, while gangs are fun for everyone.

“I played baseball for one year when I was 12,” said “Pookie” a 17-year-old gang member from south central Los Angeles. “I wasn’t good enough to start so I usually ended up sitting on the bench. I ended up quitting after the first year. I really wanted to do something where I could carry a gun and commit crimes and possibly be a drug dealer. So I guess you could say that baseball is great for the kids who are good at it, but gangbanging is great for everyone. Hopefully if I have kids someday, they’ll follow in my footsteps and join a street gang.”

Still, not everyone is sold on the study’s findings. Many experts point out that sports, if played properly, can be much more fun than joining a gang. It also can teach children valuable lessons about teamwork, discipline, and good sportsmanship. Terrence Berkman, a senor counselor at the Brooklyn Boys and Girls Club, called the study “irresponsible and potentially damaging.”

“That study is bullshit. Shame on the CJCJ,” said Berkman, 32, who has been working with inner city kids for over ten years. “We’ve been trying to preach to these kids about the benefits of playing organized sports and being part of a team. Now we’ve got a study saying that it’s more fun to be in a gang. Well maybe if they interviewed someone other than actual gang members, they’d get more accurate results. The simple truth is this: sports are much better for kids than gangs. Unless you’re talking about soccer, of course. I’d rather have my kid selling drugs than playing soccer.”