NEW ORLEANS--Minnesota’s Gerald Green, the runner up in the NBA’s 2008 slam dunk contest, expressed frustration today that judge Karl Malone elbowed him in the chest during his final attempt, ruining what would have been “an awesome dunk.”

“It’s just disappointing to have the thing be decided by something like that,” Green told reporters afterward. “I know Karl was a bruiser in his day, and I have tons of respect for the guy, but he should know that you can’t throw an elbow like that in that situation. It wasn’t even a game. Talk about losing your composure.”

Green’s final dunk was to be a variation on his first one, with a teammate placing a cupcake on the back of the rim. Only this time, Green planned to eat the cupcake while in the air.

Instead, he ended up writhing on the floor in pain after Malone leapt from his seat and threw a vicious elbow to his chest. Malone then raised his finger to indicate he committed the foul.

“If you’re judging a slam dunk contest, you really can’t run on the court and elbow one of the contestants,” said Green. “They could get seriously hurt. Not to mention that you'll ruin the whole competition. I'm pretty sure that if I was able to perform Birthday Cake II, I would have won the whole thing. Oh well, you know what they say: of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are ‘it might have been.’ I have that tattooed on my neck.”

After Malone committed the foul, he calmly walked back to the judges’ table and sat down, where the rest of the judges avoided making eye contact with him.

“I don’t know why Karl did what he did, but I’m not going to criticize him for it,” said Lakers great Magic Johnson. “He’s an intense competitor. He’s always been that way. I’m sure he just saw someone going into the lane and reacted. It was a little strange that it took place during a dunk contest, but you can't argue that there were a lot of uncontested shots that day.”

Some speculated that Malone committed the foul because he was pulling for Dwight Howard, but Malone himself dismissed that notion Monday when he said he had no rooting interest in the dunk contest.

“I wasn’t biased towards anyone,” said Malone. “I would never have accepted the job if I had a rooting interest. That foul was just a bad play by me. I never should have gotten out of my chair in the first place. To be honest, I just got tired of watching Doctor J and Magic carrying on together. Those two should have gotten a room. Since when did they become Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley?”

Three days after the dunk contest, the fallout continues. Commissioner David Stern said today that the league would be reviewing the tape to determine if a fine should be levied.

“We’re going to watch the game tape and determine the appropriate course of action,” Stern said. “But l’d rather not talk about that. I’d rather talk about the amazing showcase that was NBA All-Star weekend. Wasn’t it amazing? Where else can you find that much talent in one place? I mean, aside from that delightful High School Musical.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.