E. RUTHERFORD, NJ--Following their team’s ugly, mistake-filled playoff exit, fans of the New York Giants say they will be avoiding the internet for the next couple weeks, in order to shield themselves from the groundswell of backlash against their team and its fans.

One fan, a resident of Rochester who asked to remain anonymous, said he will stay away from the internet “until the smoke clears.”

“Okay well I’m going to stay away from the internet for a while,” said the 32-year-old fan. “That was a pretty bad loss and it’s just too painful to relive it in cyberspace. I can see the headlines now: ‘Giants Choke,’ ‘Eagles Dominate,’ ‘McNabb Rises to Occasion,’ and so on. Just for the record, I want to point out that the Eagles are not a better team than us. They played a good game, but this was all about us shooting ourselves in the foot, along with a few fluke plays here and there. It was nothing like our victory in the Super Bowl. That was just one team dominating the other.”

Another fan, 27-year-old Mike Surrey of Union, NJ, said he is avoiding blogs and message boards like the plague. Though he refrained from putting a timetable on his return, he estimated it would be at least three months.

“I'm just not ready go on there and read everybody’s ignorant comments,” said Surrey. “There’s nothing worse than listening to Eagles fans carry on about how clutch McNabb is, when just four weeks ago they were calling for his head. Those people have no class anyway. I mean, sure, I called McNabb a faggot and said Brandon Jacobs would dick-slap the whole team, but that was justified.”

Since the Giants victory in Super Bowl XLII, the internet has seen a dramatic increase in the number of Giants fans. Now, those fans are conspicuously absent, robbing the nation of the satisfaction of seeing them defeated and demoralized.

“Come on. Where are you, Giants fans? Where are you now?” asked one commenter on the popular blog, profootballtalk.com. “Your team is going home! They just got CRUSHED by the Eagles. They are choke artists. They choked. Because anybody who ever loses anything is a choke artist.”

Despite the relentless baiting, there was no rebuttal from Giants fans, save for one meager comment from a poster named EaglesEatCock:

“Way to keep it classy, Eagles fans. I guess you can’t enjoy a victory without lowering yourselves to personal insults and trash talking.”

For some Giants fans, the loss was a blessing in disguise. Now, instead of spending their days trolling the internet, they can find more productive ways to spend their time.

“Being on the internet all day was starting to get a little old anyway,” said Mike Gross, 35, of Queens. “There were days when my eyes hurt from staring at the screen all day. Plus I was always getting into these arguments with people about stupid crap that doesn’t even matter. I mean, what are sports, ultimately, but a loud, colorful distraction from what really matters in life?

“Now I’m going to start doing stuff that’s more productive, like going to the gym, enjoying the outdoors, and reading books. Hell, I might not even tune in to the Super Bowl this year – unless those dickhead Eagles are getting their colons stomped on.”

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.