WASHINGTON, DC--In the midst of the controversy surrounding Gilbert Arenas’ decision to store handguns in his locker, dozens of NBA are discreetly removing the handguns from their lockers, hoping to avoid the same fate.

According to one player’s estimate, about 250 guns have been transported out of NBA locker rooms since the scandal broke.

“People are removing their guns like the ATF is coming in,” said one Eastern Conference player. “And they're being real sneaky about it, too, as if everybody doesn't know what's going on. Personally I had to fill two duffle bags full of firearms. My coach was like ‘What, are you going on a trip?’ and I was like ‘No, I’m moving my guns.’ And he just looked at me, and I looked at him, and then I kept walking. I probably should have come up with some kind of cover story.”

Many players criticized Arenas for getting caught and ruining a good thing.

“Everybody hides guns in their lockers,” said one player. “I’d say about 85 percent of players have guns in their lockers. But there’s an unspoken agreement that if you do that you’re not going to, you know, pull the guns out and threaten people who owe you money. That kind of thing is frowned upon. Also...a Desert Eagle? I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were playing Grand Theft Auto.”

Despite the ubiquitous presence of guns in NBA locker rooms, players unanimously condemned Arenas when commenting on the situation in public.

“That’s just terrible judgment,” Clippers guard Baron Davis told reporters yesterday. “I don't know what Gilbert was thinking. I'm very disappointed in him. This is going to reflect badly on everybody now. People are going to think all NBA players have guns in their lockers. And we try so hard to do the right thing, too. And...what's that? No, that's not a gun in my waist band. It's a...novelty cigarette lighter.”

Commissioner David Stern said the league was investigation the situation but would not get into specifics about what sort of punishment would be handed down.

“We’re still gathering the facts right now, so I can’t get into specifics about any punishment,” said Stern. “But this is obviously a very serious situation. Firearms have no place in an NBA locker room. If you want to own the things legally, fine. Just keep them at home. Or at the very least hide them in your glove compartment like I do.”

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.