Rams Suffering From 2002 Super Bowl Hangover

ST LOUIS--The St Louis Rams, off to an 0-3 start, appear to be suffering from a malady all too familiar to losers of Super Bowls: the post-Super Bowl hangover. While the Rams did not lose the Super Bowl in 2007, they did lose the big game in 2002, which explains their lethargic, uninspired performance so far this year.

Isaac Bruce, who played in the 2002 Super Bowl, hopes that his team can put the past behind them and focus on this year.

“We are definitely suffering from some kind of hangover,” said Bruce, who had 3 catches for 14 yards in a loss to the Bucs on Sunday. “It’s almost like we used all our energy in the 2001-2002 season and now we’re just…hung over. Don’t ask me why this is hitting us now. I guess it’s a delayed reaction, like when I went to that New Year’s Even party in 1989 and didn’t get a headache until four years later.”

Bruce pointed out that the team came into the 2007-2008 season determined to build on their success in the 2001-2002 season and get back to the Super Bowl, this time as winners.

“It’s funny because we came into this year thinking we were definitely going back to the Super Bowl,” said Bruce. “That loss to the Patriots really hurt us and we were more determined than ever to take the final step this year. Maybe we were too cocky. Maybe we just took it for granted that we would get back to the big game. Make no mistake, the pull of 2002 is a strong one. But the past is dead. The future is also dead, but at least the future might contain some pretty high draft picks.”

Even players who were not on the 2002 team are feeling the dull ache of the hangover. Others, like Steven Jackson, are experiencing first hand the injury bug that inexplicably follows Super Bowl losers.

“Ah, this damn hangover! Nobody is immune to it!” said a frustrated Jackson after learning he will miss time with a groin tear. “It got Orlando Pace, too. And Marc is playing with two broken ribs. Who’s next? Drew Bennett? Torry Holt? Someone on our defense, like Joe…Tan…en…frop...well, I can’t really name anybody on our defense. Oh shut up. You can’t either.”

The most shocking aspect of the Rams slow start has been the ineffectiveness of the offense. Scott Linehan has been criticized for the ultra-conservative game plan, which has failed to utilize the team’s stellar receiving corps and only managed three points in the Sunday’s game against the Bucs.

However, Linehan says that injuries to his quarterback were to blame for the conservative approach.

“Unfortunately, Marc is not 100 percent and we’re playing it simple to keep him upright,” said Linehan. “Our fans just need to be patient while we work through this rough stretch. Remember, the darkest hour is always just before the dawn. That’s the good news. The bad news? I don’t think we’ve reached the darkest hour yet.”

As for the post Super Bowl hangover, Linehan isn’t buying it.

“That’s just more excuse-making,” he said. “Everybody knows the Super Bowl hangover only affects teams that were in the Super Bowl last year. That being said, I do sense a bit of apathy among our players. It’s times like this when I wish I was one of those forceful coaches who could go into the locker room and scream ‘Click clack!’ or whatever and then take a baseball bat to the lockers and shock the team into playing well. I mean, I suppose I could do it, but I would probably just make an ass out of myself. I’ll leave the inspirational speeches to other coaches and the getting fired to me.”

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