Hero Athlete Tears Down Library To Build Youth Center

FORT MYERS, FL--Seeking to “give something back to the community,” rookie NBA player Kyle Crawford has donated $1 million to help construct a state-of-the-art youth center in his hometown of Fort Myers , Florida. The youth center, which will contain eight full-length basketball courts, will be built on the former site of the Fort Myers public library, which was destroyed to make room for it.

“That pile of rubble that was once our town’s only library will soon be a new youth center,” Crawford told local media outlets last week. “It’s a great way for me to give something back to the community that has been so good to me. Now the troubled youth of Fort Myers will have a place to gather after school where they can play basketball and stay out of trouble. I just want to show these kids that basketball is the way out, not reading. Despite what the NBA makes us say, reading is not fundamental.”

Crawford, a University of Florida product, persuaded city officials to destroy the library after architects were unable to find a suitable location for the youth center. The city was reluctant at first, but gave in after Crawford made an impassioned speech about the need for a gathering place for the city’s youth.

“He really convinced us this was the right thing to do,” said John Maliente, member of the Fort Myers city council. “He explained to us that he came from humble beginnings and that he could’ve used a nice youth center when he was a kid. He told us some horror stories about how he and his friends had nowhere to go after school and had to hang around in the library for ‘story hour’ instead of playing basketball. By the time he was finished, I had tears in my eyes.”

Fort Myers Mayor Tom L. Gordon approved the youth center plan immediately and declared the day “Kyle Crawford Day”

“Everybody knows that the most noble thing a human being can do is get youths involved in sports,” said Gordon. “Apparently sports builds character and teaches life lessons and stuff. Libraries don’t do that. Sure, they can teach you to read, write, and develop your imagination, but how does that help in the job market? It doesn’t. Let’s face it: These kids are doomed and no library in the world is going to change that. But a community center like this will help them develop a good jump shot for the prison basketball team.”

The decision to tear down the library was nearly unanimous, with only 3 council members voting against the move. One of them, Theresa Gregory, pleaded with the council to find another site for the youth center. Unfortunately her pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Everybody was so enamored with Mr. Crawford’s idea that they wouldn’t even listen to me,” said Gregory, 44. “They didn’t think twice about tearing that library down, and it’s been standing for over 50 years. As soon as Crawford came up with the idea everyone got on board. They actually seemed to be in a hurry to knock down the library. They didn’t even bother removing the books before they sent in the wrecking crew. They didn’t even bother removing the librarian. As far as I know, her body is buried somewhere in that rubble.”

Another city council member, 76-year-old Sylvester Cronshaw, expressed dismay that the library was being razed and refused to endorse the new youth center.

“Youth center? What the hell is a youth center?” asked an irritated Cronshaw. “When I was a kid we played in the sand lots, hung out at the five and dime, and yes, went to the library. And this Crawford kid, I know all about him. What a punk he was growing up. I remember he was caught in the library bathroom with his pants down masturbating to National Geographic. No wonder he wants to tear the place down.”

The cost of the youth center is estimated to be close to $10 million dollars. Crawford donated the first million himself and solicited donations from several corporations to pay for the rest. Nike pledged money to help build and maintain the basketball courts, and Ameriquest Mortgage paid millions more for the naming rights to the center, which will be known as Ameriquest Mortgage Youth Recreation Center at Fort Myers. Crawford himself has played an integral part in the design of the center and will be on hand for the ribbon cutting ceremony in July.

“Oh, I can’t wait for that ribbon cutting ceremony,” Crawford said. “I’ve always wanted to be a hero who returned to his home town and built a community center for disadvantaged youths. It’s so heroic. I’m such a hero. Just think of all the lives I’m changing by tearing down that useless old library and building basketball courts. Now that the kids have some place to hang around besides street corners, you’ll see drugs and gang activity decrease. You’ll see literacy decrease, too, but hey, what are you gonna do? You can’t have everything.”