TORONTO--The Toronto Blue Jays, owners of a 48-50 record on the season, appear headed to another third place finish in the AL East. With no end in sight to their relentless mediocrity, ownership appears to be throwing up its hands. According to a report in the Toronto Star, the Blue Jays are considering abandoning baseball and trying basketball instead.

When reached for comment, team president Paul Godfrey admitted they were having “preliminary” discussions but said nothing is imminent.

“Sure we talk about these things,” Godfrey said. “But I wouldn’t say we have anything to announce at this point. It’s just that, when the team is struggling, and has been struggling for years, you have to start looking at your options. One option is NBA basketball. It’s fun. It’s popular. It’s international. Kids like it. Plus, there's only one NBA team in Toronto. There's a lot of untapped potential here.”

In addition to the marketing advantages of choosing basketball over baseball, there’s also a competitive advantage, says Godfrey.

“Simply put, we’re not very good at baseball,” Godfrey said. “It’s just not our thing. We had some nice years a while back, but that was fleeting, and ever since then it’s been like a death march. We’re not even terrible. We’re just…kind of crappy. If we withdrew from the league right now, I don’t think anybody would mind. In fact I’m pretty sure nobody would even notice for three or four weeks.”

Switching to basketball would require a complete restructuring of the Jays organization, but according to many in the front office, the franchise has nothing to lose.

“It would be a huge undertaking to do this, but we feel it could be extremely beneficial,” said J.P. Ricciardi, Senior Vice President of Baseball Operations. “It would give the whole organization a shot in the arm and a renewed sense of purpose. It would be exciting for the fans, too. We could even change our name to like the Thundercats or something. Or how about the Avalanches? My personal favorite is the Toronto Cold. It’s regional, and it’s catchy. Here, you want a Toronto Cold t-shirt?”

Ricciardi refused to put a time frame on the transition, saying at this point discussions were at the very early stages.

“Right now we’re just brainstorming, bouncing ideas off each other,” he said. “There’s nothing concrete in the works. Still, these discussions are the most fun I’ve had since I’ve been here.”

In the history of the Major Leagues, no team has dropped out of the league to try its luck with another sport. If Commissioner Bud Selig has his way, the Blue Jays won’t be the first.

“I don’t know where these crazy rumors are coming from, but we won’t have anybody withdrawing from this league,” said Selig. “The Blue Jays are a baseball team and will remain a baseball team...wow, there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear myself saying. Or any other sentence with the phrase ‘Blue Jays’ in it.”

Copyright 2008, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.