DENVER--Denver quarterback Jay Cutler, once considered a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame, may now be on the outside looking in after a debut performance in which he only managed 143 yards passing. The rocky performance shocked experts, who expected Cutler to put the Broncos on his shoulders and lead them to several Super Bowls.

Now his only chance at the Hall of Fame is to play exceptionally well for the next ten years.

“This was a surprising performance, to say the least,” said Mike Costa of the Denver Post. “Cutler was a complete disaster. He could barely get out of his own way. I'm not saying we should write him off just yet, but his Hall credentials just took a major hit. Those voters are a fickle bunch. I would say at this point he's a probably second ballot guy, or maybe even a third ballot. That's what happens when you shit the bed in your first start.”

Can Cutler recover some of the mojo that made him a Hall of Fame candidate during his first preseason? It’s possible, says, Costa, but it’s going to take some heroics.

“He had a horrible game and it’s going to take a lot of great games to make people forget about that,” said Costa. “He’s no longer going to be able to coast on his stellar preseason statistics. Yea, those were some great games, but what have you done for me lately? The image of him falling backwards and heaving that desperation pass into the air is going to burn in people's minds for a long time. That storied legacy he had coming into the game has been tainted.”

When Cutler was drafted by the Broncos out of Vanderbilt, he was considered to be the heir apparent to Jake Plummer. When Plummer struggled in his first 10 starts, Shanahan named Cutler his starting quarterback in the hopes of assuring a Super Bowl.

“Well so much for my Super Bowl plans,” Shanahan said after the game. “You think you know somebody, you think you have them pegged, and then they go and lay an egg on you. It’s hard for me to believe that a Hall of Fame quarterback could have a game like that. It’s disappointing. However, I’m keeping him in there. I have to give him a chance to get better. The worst thing that can happen is we don’t make the playoffs. So what? We’ve been to the playoffs before and all you do is play one or two games and then go home. I don't see what the big deal is.”

Replacing Plummer with a surefire superstar seemed like a no-brainer to the rest of the Broncos, and many of them wondered why the decision had taken this long to make.

“We couldn’t believe how long it was taking for Coach Shanahan to put Cutler in there,” said receiver Rod Smith. “This guy is a bona fide superstar. Did you see him play in college? And in the preseason? Forget about it. He could do no wrong. I actually got a little intimidated being around him. Luckily he was a cool guy and agreed to sign a football for me. Of course he struggled a bit in his first start. So what? Superman had problems flying at first, too, but he ended up flying around the planet at the speed of light and turning back time. Jay doesn’t have to turn back time, he just has to get us to the Super Bowl, which will probably be more of a challenge.”

Poor performance or not, Cutler is the Broncos starting quarterback from here on out. The rookie believes he’s qualified to lead the team and isn’t bothered by those who feel he has fallen from grace.

“Everybody’s a critic,” Cutler told reporters after Sunday’s game. “I still feel like I’m a good quarterback. Maybe I’m not going to win the Super Bowl this year, but I might win one next year. The important thing right now is that I’m learning a lot and I’m happy to be in the situation I’m in. Think about it. I could be in Oakland right now. I should be in Oakland right now. They passed me up for a safety who I’m pretty sure is out of the league. God they must be kicking themselves over there. There is a silver lining, though: Jake Plummer is available.”


Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

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