Get Football Picks, Basketball Picks , Baseball Picks and play Free Fantasy Football, Fantasy Basketball and more at PicksPal

NEW ORLEANS--In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the NBA organized “Operation Rebound,” a charitable drive to rebuild homes, distribute goods, and donate money to residents of the Gulf Coast . In 2006 alone, the league donated $15 million to families in need, edging our own federal government, which donated $5 million, along with some toothbrushes and Bibles.

“The NBA and the NBA Players Association have been extremely helpful in assisting Gulf Coast residents affected by Hurricane Katrina,” said Jonathan Reckford, CEO of Habitat for Humanity. “With their help, thousands of families have been given the help they need, and many have been able to move into new homes. The government? They donated a bunch of trailers, which was nice, and then they donated some money but most of it got tied up in red tape. Not that I’m criticizing them or anything. I understand they are very busy and it’s difficult sometimes to remember that an entire region of the country has been wiped off the map.”

Reckford also commended Billy Hunter and David Stern for their leadership, calling them “resourceful” and “attentive,” while calling the federal government “unmotivated” and “nowhere to be found.”

“Stern and Hunter are two gentlemen who seem to really care about the people of the Gulf Coast,” said Reckford. “Whenever I call they are there to answer the phone. When I ask for something they usually get it, or at least try to get it. This is why they are more useful to us than FEMA. Those people seem unmotivated, and on the occasions when they do seem motivated they can’t get out of their own way. To use an NBA analogy, they’re a lot like the Cleveland Cavaliers offense.”

In the coming months, the NBA Players Association plans to build three community centers in Louisiana and send dozens of tractor trailers full of food and medical supplies to impoverished areas of the Gulf Coast.

According to Hunter, the league may be close to taking over the relief effort completely from the federal government.

“It’s possible that in the future we will be accepting the baton from the feds and we’ll be rebuilding this place on our own,” Hunter said. “The government is clearly too busy for this, and we understand that, so if they’d like us to step in and take over we’re all for it. That way they can abandon all pretense that they give a shit and we can look like Santa Claus, Jesus, and Mother Theresa all rolled up into one.

“Although, to be fair, appearing more charitable and kind than this administration doesn’t take a helluva lot of effort. That’s why I voted for them in 2004.”

But the government isn’t ready to abandon Katrina victims just yet. FEMA head R. David Paulison, while acknowledging the difficulties in coordinating the relief effort, says the US remains committed to rebuilding the Gulf Coast.

“It’s been a difficult road and we still have a long way to go,” said Paulison. “Contrary to popular belief, we have done a lot for these people. Look at all the trailers. You think those sprung up out of the ground? And look at all the bottles of water you see in the hands of the trailer people. They didn’t materialize out of thin air. We bought those with our own money.”

“We appreciate what the NBA is doing,” he added, “but there is no way they’re doing more than us. It only looks that way…I think. I haven’t actually been down there in a while. But if you happen to get down there, you tell those people that we are thinking about them and that the President is deeply saddened by the fact that the situation is never going to get better.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.