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PHOENIX--Just when it appeared that the NBA rumor mill was dying down, a report out of Phoenix is suggesting that center Kevin Garnett has been playing for the Suns the past two years and has not been a member of the Minnesota Timberwolves as was previously suspected. The rumor came from a source close to the Suns organization.

“Garnett has been a member of the Phoenix Suns organization since 2005,” the source told ESPN’s Marc Stein. “He was actually on the court for the Suns playoff run this past year. He scored 30 points in Game 2 against the Spurs and nailed the game winning shot in Game 4. McHale wanted to keep it all hush hush, and the Suns tried to accommodate him, but obviously you can’t hold a lid on something like this for too long.”

The source said Garnett was traded to Phoenix in a complex three-team deal that netted the Wolves three future first round picks, Leandro Barbosa, Glenn Robinson’s expiring contract, Earl Boykins, and cash considerations.

“Garnett was really pushing Glen Taylor to make a move and Phoenix was at the top of his list,” the source said. “The best deal Taylor could swing was a bunch of draft picks, Barbosa, Boykins, and an expiring deal. I’m not really sure how Barbosa and Boykins fit in, especially since they played for the Suns and Nuggets last year, but the details aren’t important. The bottom line is that the chances are very, very slim that Taylor will be moving KG since he’s no longer on the team.”

Representatives from both teams rushed to deny the rumor, saying it was “ridiculous” and “impossible,” and pointing out that Garnett was seen on camera playing for the T'wolves on several different occasions over the past two years.

“This is absolutely baseless,” said Suns GM Steve Kerr. “I don’t even know where this crap comes from. How could Kevin have been playing for the Suns the past two years? He’s been in Minnesota. Don’t you people watch the games? Did you catch the playoffs this year? You know, the ones where Amare got suspended and there was all that controversy and the Suns got eliminated? Yea, KG was in no way involved in any of that. But hey, thanks for getting everybody in Phoenix all excited for nothing.”

Wolves GM Kevin McHale went a step further, saying that Garnett had no interest in leaving Minnesota and the team had no interest in trading him. He also noted that Leonardo Barbosa and Earl Boykins never played for the Timberwolves.

“Wow, when I read this one I just had to laugh,” McHale told the Minneapolis Star Tribune. “The notion that Kevin wants to be traded somewhere is just foolish. And, uh, not to be snide or anything, but at what point did you see Boykins and Barbosa in a Wolves uniform? Exactly: never. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Boykins played for the Nuggets and Barbosa the Suns. Also, I poured over game tape and I can assure you that Kevin is still with this team.”

Despite the denials from both sides, the rumor still has legs, according to Stein.

“I don’t think this rumor is going to die any time soon,” said Stein. “KG is definitely infatuated with Phoenix and Minny definitely wants to move him, so this whole thing makes too much sense. Also I’m going to keep talking about it. See? This is me talking about it. Talk talk talk. And I'm going to give you another update tomorrow just for the hell of it. It’s called 'the tail wagging the dog.' It’s also called the slowest month in the NBA off-season. Help me. ”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

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Latest KG Rumor Says He’s Been Playing For Suns Since 2005

July 17, 2007 Volume 2 Issue 103
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