JACKONSVILLE--Monday Night Football analyst Tony Kornheiser shared some observations about quarterback David Garrard during last night’s game between the Jaguars and the Colts. Among the musings were that Tom Brady is having a sensational year and that he could be the best quarterback ever.

“Tom Brady could be having the greatest year in the history of NFL quarterbacks,” Kornheiser said in response to a question about David Garrard’s performance this season. “The way he is performing, it’s like he’s playing a different game than everyone else. It’s like Dan Marino and Johnny Unitas had sex, and they had a baby, and that baby is Tom Brady. The question is: can the Patriots run the table this year? And I think you have to say, yes, they can run the table this year and for the next several years.”

Kornheiser was then asked if he thought the Jaguars made the right decision by starting Garrard in place of former first round pick Byron Leftwich.

“Up until this season,” Kornheiser responded, “Tom Brady has not had a decent group of wide receivers. This year, with the receiving corps he has, he could end up breaking Peyton Manning’s touchdown record by ten touchdowns. Right now he has 27 touchdowns and two interceptions! It’s almost unheard of. But to answer your question, Mike, yes I think that Tom Brady is making it look easy this year.”

During the course of the game, Kornheiser mentioned the name of the Jaguars quarterback only once while criticizing him for not being Tom Brady. In response to a comment by Ron Jaworski about the downhill running ability of Maurice Jones-Drew, Kornheiser posed the burning question that is on the minds of everyone in America:

“Who do you take with the game on the line, Brady or Manning?” he asked Jaworski. “Manning may have the best pure arm in the game, but Brady has the big game ability that you want when there’s two minutes left and you need that winning touchdown. Now I’m not going to let you wiggle your way out of this one, Ron. Game’s on the line, who do you want?”

Said Jaworski: “I was actually talking about Maurice Jones-Drew, the running back for the Jaguars, the team that’s playing right now. He’s really good.”

Kornheiser then called Jaworski a “coward” for backing down from the question.

Later, he did credit the Jaguars for their defense this season, calling their defensive line “the Tom Brady of defensive lines.”

“The way they can stop you at the line of scrimmage is pretty impressive,” he said during second quarter action. “They clog up the middle as well as anyone in the league. They’re the Tom Brady of defensive lines, because Tom Brady can clog up the scoreboard with points, and he can stuff teams’ hopes of winning against him. But the question is this: Fourth quarter, game on the line, who do you want behind center? Tom Brady or the Jaguars defensive line? I think you have to say Tom Brady. The way he’s playing right now, he’d be a much better option than a group of d-lineman who have never played the position before.”

Following the broadcast, Kornheiser went back to his hotel and grilled the doorman on who he’d rather have as his quarterback with the game on the line.

Replied the doorman: “For the fifth time this week, it’s Brady.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.