Kyle Orton Quits Team To Promote Heisman Candidacy

WEST LAFAYETTE, IN--Purdue’s Kyle Orton is considered by many to be the front-runner in this year’s Heisman race, but these days, even the most qualified candidates need time consuming, multi-million dollar campaigns to gain enough media exposure to win the award. With this year’s other hopefuls pushing their own publicity drives into high gear, Kyle Orton has decided to quit football in order to promote his own candidacy. The decision was supported by his coaches and teammates.

“Personally, I’m from the old school when you didn’t have these Heisman campaigns,” said Purdue coach Joe Tiller. “All of this stuff is a little silly to me. However, I do understand the need for this kind of thing now, with the national media and everything. I told Kyle that he needs to do what’s best for him and his family. He needs to win that Heisman so he can vastly increase his chances of being an NFL bust.”

Orton informed his teammates of his decision after Saturday’s game against Wisconsin. The rest of the Boilermakers expressed disappointment that their leader was leaving but stopped short of criticizing his decision.

“I’ve been saying all along that he should win the Heisman,” said wideout Taylor Stubblefield. “And I guess he’s going to try to make that happen. It’s tough losing your quarterback, but we all understand how important it is for these candidates to promote themselves and spread awareness about their greatness. I don’t know how quitting the team is going to help his chances, though. That seems a little insane.”

But for Orton, quitting was the only option.

“Running an effective Heisman campaign meant eliminating all distractions,” said Tom Schott, sports information director for Purdue, who is helping Orton in his quest for the trophy. “We tried, we made a real effort to juggle both the campaign and the football season, but it was too taxing for Kyle. You can’t have the kid showing up for interviews half-asleep and sore from practice. That kind of thing leaves an impression on the voters. Everyone knows that Kyle can play. He doesn’t have anything else to prove.”

Orton has already begun his nationwide awareness-raising campaign. In the past two days, he has traveled from Indiana all the way to California doing press conferences, arranging meet and greets, and even going door to door to introduce himself to normal Americans. The intense publicity blitz would never have been possible if Orton was still playing on the team.

“Obviously playing for the Boilermakers would have handcuffed me in a lot of ways,” said Orton. “Going to practice every day and playing on Saturday’s was just too time consuming. There are millions of people out there who don’t even know who Kyle Orton is, and I’m supposed to sit back and do nothing about it? Look, my team will be fine without me. We’ve got a great backup quarterback in…uh…what’s his name? Well, whoever he is, he’s probably pretty good.”

Orton’s publicity campaign started in New York City where he was welcomed on Good Morning America. Host Charles Gibson asked why Orton would quit the team to pursue the Heisman when playing football was what earned him his reputation in the first place.

“Well,” Orton began. “In this day and age it’s not enough to play well every week and win games. You’ve got to sell yourself. If the voters don’t know who you are then they won’t vote for you. I’ve played three and a half good, solid years of college ball and I think my resume speaks for itself. Now all I need is the Heisman. That would really Be a great ending to my college career. I could join the ranks of such luminaries as Andre Ware, Ki-Jana Carter, and Ron Dayne. I’m sure it’ll be a first class ticket to NFL superstardom.”

After the taping, Orton went door to door on Long Island, introducing himself to residents and explaining why he deserved to win the Heisman. He even provided visual aids to help illustrate his case.

“As you can see right here, my passer rating is 181.6, which is really quite extraordinary,” Orton told a middle-age couple in Great Neck. “And my total yards are twice as high as the person below me. Plus, I have great leadership skills and do a lot of charity work. I’m also banging your daughter. Just kidding.”

The couple, Judith and Larry Warrick, said the visit went well but couldn’t understand why they were chosen.

“That was weird. We’re not the Heisman voters. We have nothing to do with that,” said Judith Warrick. “I think he’s going about this all wrong. I think he’s just starved for attention. He was really getting on my nerves. Plus, he wasn’t kidding about banging my daughter.”