NEW YORK--After a weekend of NFL games that saw several offensive lineman “go overboard ” to protect their quarterbacks from being hit by defenders, players and coaches spoke out against the perceived over-protection of quarterbacks.

Linemen from the Colts, Patriots, New York Giants and others were singled out based on their “obsession” with keeping their QB’s clean.

“It’s getting ridiculous out there,” said Titans defender Keith Bullock. “You play a team like the Colts, and you can’t even get a hand on Peyton Manning. And if you try? These guys will knock you on your ass like a sack of dirt. It’s all just a sign of the times, I guess. This is where the league is going. ‘Protect the quarterback at all costs.’ Well, I think it’s bullshit. Personally, I don’t care if our quarterback gets maimed back there.”

The Baltimore Ravens, who managed only one sack against the resurgent Cincinnati Bengals, were livid after the game about the preferential treatment afforded to quarterbacks.

“It’s getting so a man can’t even do his job out there,” defender Terrell Suggs said. “They’re protecting these guys like they’re made of ceramic. It’s bad for the game and it’s bad for me, too, because if I’m not sacking the quarterback I’m pretty much worthless.”

Even members of the media chimed in, with ESPN’s Tom Jackson calling the overprotection of quarterbacks “out of control.”

“This has simply gone too far. It’s out of control,” Jackson fumed on ESPN’s NFL Primetime. “The league needs to step in and tell these linemen to back off so defenders can do their jobs. Why should quarterbacks have five guys protecting them, including a personal body guard to protect their blind side, when every other player is on their own out there? It makes it less fun to watch the games, especially for people with unrelenting bloodlust like me.”

Several linemen acknowledged that they are erring on the side of caution when it comes to protecting quarterbacks and have no plans to let up any time soon. Simply put: protecting the league’s star quarterbacks from injury is their top priority.

“We’re going to do whatever we need to do to protect these guys,” said left tackle Matt Light of the New England Patriots. “If we go overboard sometimes, fine. I don’t care. As long as Tom makes it through a game unscathed I’m happy. Defenders are just going to have to get used to the fact that they can’t just hit the quarterback with impunity. There are safeguards in place. And those safeguards are fat and ornery.”

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.