NEW ORLEANS-- We are 12 games into the 2009 NFL season, and there are still two undefeated teams remaining: the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts. While experts argue which team has the better chance of finishing 16-0, the Saints feel they have a decided advantage in their loser-heavy remaining schedule.

“If you look at the rest of our schedule, it’s basically loser after loser,” said quarterback Drew Brees. “Next week we’ve got Falcons - losers. Then the Cowboys - December losers. Then the Bucs and Panthers, losers both. It doesn’t look like we’re going to be challenged at all the rest of the season. We might not even break a sweat. The worst that could happen is one of us suffering an injury while celebrating, but that probably won’t happen either because beating these losers isn’t any reason to celebrate.”

The Saints barely eked by the Redskins on Sunday, needing a late field goal and several fortuitous bounces to escape the 3-9 ‘Skins. However, Brees attributed the close call to boredom.

“Sometime you do get bored, and that’s what happened against the Redskins,” Brees said. “I mean, here we are, a 11-0 team marching inexorably to history, and we have to play a team that can barely lace up their shoes. And yea, they played well, but don’t read too much into that. We’re were looking ahead to our February 7th game against the Indianapolis Colts.”

Coach Sean Payton agreed with Brees’ assertion, but promised that the team's loser-heavy schedule will not effect their preparation week in and week out.

“Regardless of who we’re playing, we are going to pretend we’re playing someone good and practice accordingly,” said Payton. “We’re going to study film, run drills, do calisthenics, shout slogans, and everything else, even against the Falcons. That way we won’t get tripped up like we almost did yesterday - though it’s pretty hard to imagine us being tripped up by the likes of Mark Redman and that Jerious Snelling kid.”

The Saints’ bravado is already ruffling feathers around the league, especially among the “losers” scheduled to face them in the final weeks of the season. For the Falcons, the arrogance and name-calling has provided some pretty potent bulletin board material.

“I can’t believe they're saying all this stuff,” said defensive end John Abraham. “They called us losers? They said we couldn’t beat them? Well we’ll see what happens when they step into the dome, bitch! Yea! Hopefully not the same thing that happened when the Eagles stepped into the dome. Then again, they didn’t say bad shit about us so we didn’t care if we beat them.”

Not everyone on the Saints is overconfident, however. Receiver Marques Colston, for one, believes the Saints have “many challenges” ahead if they are to remain undefeated and disapproves of his teammates’ arrogance.

“It’s very hard to go undefeated and we really shouldn’t even be talking about it,” said Colston. “All we’re going to do is make it harder on ourselves. Don't forget that anything can happen in this league and nothing is guaranteed. Just ask all those fantasy owners who started me over Robert MEachem the past three weeks.”

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.