OAKLAND--After a miserable first half, the Oakland Athletics have surged to the wild card lead in the American League. On the strength of great pitching, solid defense, and timely hitting, the team is once again proving that you don’t need a $200 million payroll to fall just short of winning the pennant.

“Hey we are back in this thing. Watch out,” said first baseman Scott Hatteberg. “Earlier in the year a lot of people had us dead and buried, but we didn’t just roll over. This team doesn’t have any quit in it. We will fight until the bitter end, which is usually the first round of the playoffs.”

After enduring a 4-20 stretch in May, the team turned it around and has gone 36-13 since. Manager Ken Macha said even when his team was down they refused to panic.

“Hey, things can change pretty fast in this game. You just have to keep an even keel,” said Macha, in his third year managing the Athletics. “You just have to believe in your players and have patience with them. All through the month of May I kept telling the guys to keep their heads up. I told them we’d heat up in the second half, and so far, we have. I just hope they don’t expect to get anywhere in the playoffs. That’s not how we do things around here.”

Macha also said that “managing expectations” is a key to any team’s success.

“We know we’re not winning the pennant this year, but it’s OK. It’s very important to have reasonable expectations. If you set the bar too high you’re going to end up disappointed. So we’ll enjoy this winning streak and someday, when people look back on the year 2005, the will remember how well the Oakland A’s played from May 30th until the first day of the playoffs.”

A’s GM Billy Beane has assembled a highly competitive team with one of the league’s lowest payrolls. The subject of Michael Lewis's infamous book Moneyball, Beane has elevated falling just short to an art form.

“You know, a lot of people think you have to have a big payroll to field a decent team every year,” said Beane. “But I’ve proven that there are other ways to build a winner. As I stated in Moneyball, quality players can be had at a reasonable price if one knows how to properly evaluate talent. Of course we can’t keep these players for too long, but that’s not really the issue. The issue is discovering them, signing them, and making them into all-stars so I can mention them in the next book.”

Beane has made a habit of finding overlooked young players and integrating them into the A’s vaunted farm system. Even though their roster has a high turnaround rate, Beane manages to keep the team competitive every year.

“I keep finding players,” said Beane. “Every year it seems like I wave my magic wand and find a couple of really talented pitchers to plug into the rotation. God I’m a genius. Any team that wants to never win a world series should be banging down my door right now.”

This year's surge has been sparked by the performance of pitchers Danny Haren, Rich Harden, and ace Barry Zito. As usual, the A’s are showing just how far a strong pitching staff can carry a team.

“This pitching staff has really stepped up lately,” said Zito. “I’ve been here for a while now and I understand that if you want to win the wild card, or even the division, you’ve got to have a strong, deep pitching staff. If you want to win the pennant, however, you need quite a few big bats. Our biggest bat is Eric Chavez. So if you can somehow get past Eric, you’ve got to face that one-man wrecking crew, Scott Hatteberg. And if you can somehow slip by him, you’re staring down the immortal Nick Swisher. Are you picking up on the sarcasm in my voice? Good, because here’s some more: These guys are really good hitters who are just underrated.”

Chavez, like Zito, is a veteran of the Oakland A’s organization. After several years of falling just short, he’s grown accustomed to the letdown and is actually looking forward to it.

“That’s just part of being an Oakland Athletic,” he said. “The heartbreak of a disappointing first half, the adrenaline rush of a second half surge, and then the inevitable letdown as our hopes and dreams are dashed by a more well rounded team in the playoffs. It’s the same thing every year. It’s like that movie Groundhog Day, when Bill Murray had to keep reliving the same miserable day over and over again, until he eventually started to enjoy it. The only difference is that movie eventually ended, and this movie will go on forever.”

Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.