ST. LOUIS--For Rams players, it was a sign that team has finally arrived. Sports Illustrated's NFL Preview, a widely read, nationally distributed column, contained not one but two mentions of the St Louis Rams. At the team’s practice facility, players gathered around to bask in their newfound fame.

“Dude, there we are!” shouted defensive lineman Adam Carriker. “There’s a whole section on us! Check it out. Wow. Let's see: It says here that our mantra this year should be ‘Earn respect.’ Hello? I think we’ve already accomplished that. We’re in Peter King’s NFL preview! He doesn’t just put anyone in there. He only puts teams that he expects to participate in the upcoming season. Yea! We’re back, bitches!”

By contrast, ESPN.com’s NFL Preview makes no mention of the Rams.

“It was demoralizing to read ESPN’s preview and see that, once again, we were excluded,” Carriker said. “But this is definitely vindication. We’re right here in black and white, and on newsstands everywhere. Plus, we’re not the only team ESPN left out of its preview. They left out every team that’s not going to be shown on ESPN this year, like they usually do.”

As soon as the preview was posted, members of the team rushed into coach Steve Spagnulo’s office to tell him the news. While Spagnulo said it was “gratifying” to be acknowledged in such a way, he urged the team not to get too excited about it.

“This certainly is gratifying to see your name in print like that, being mentioned in the same space as the Pittsburgh Steelers and Dallas Cowboys, but we can’t let ourselves get carried away here,” Spagnulo said. “The season hasn’t even started yet and we haven’t really accomplished anything. Plus, if you read the fine print, he’s actually picking us to go 5-11, which isn’t so good. So let’s just focus on what we need to do on the field and not get caught up in – holy shit! He mentioned my name in the first paragraph!”

Spagnulo wasn’t the only Ram mentioned by name in the preview. Rookie tackle Jason Smith, running back Steven Jackson, QB Marc Bulger, and linebacker James Laurinaitis were also included. All four players tried to downplay the situation, however, to avoid creating any resentment or jealousy among their teammates.

“Oh, look. There I am. I have my own special little section,” said Laurinaitis. “Isn’t that great. Frankly, I don’t think I deserve this. I take no pleasure in the fact that I got mentioned instead of some veteran guys who have been here for years. Hopefully this won’t divide the locker room or ruin our chemistry. Sudden, newfound fame can do that to relationships.”

But Laurinaitis said he doesn't believe the glare of the spotlight will cause the team to wilt under pressure.

“Now that we’ve hit the big time like this it would be pretty easy for us to freak out and wilt under the pressure of being mentioned in an NFL preview,” he said. “But I don’t think that will happen to this team. We have too many veterans and solid character guys. If anything, it might make us better. And get ready, because I predict we’re going to be mentioned in the playoff preview this year – as the team the 49ers fattened up on to back into the playoffs.”

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.