FOXBORO, MA--Fans of the Colts braved icy cold weather in downtown Indianapolis on Monday to celebrate their team’s victory over the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI. Peyton Manning, Tony Dungy, and GM Bill Polian all took the podium to thank the fans and hoist the Lombardi trophy, the culmination of a whirlwind 48-hour party for the Super Bowl champs.

Conspicuously absent from the festivities was any mention of one the New England Patriots, the most successful NFL team of the past decade, a slight that did not go unnoticed by Patriots players.

“It seems like everyone’s talking about the Colts now,” safety Rodney Harrison told the Boston Globe today. “Every time I turn on the TV, it’s Colts this and Colts that, and nobody is saying a word about the Patriots. Hey, that’s fine. We're used to being disrespected. We’ll just keep quietly going about our business. No parades, no speeches, no magazine covers, no nothing. But come next year, we will not forget this. The image of the Colts standing up at that podium and pretending we don’t exist will be burned in our minds forever.”

When the Colts parade made its way into the RCA Dome, several players took their turn at the podium, calling the crowd “the best fans in the world” and promising another Super Bowl next season. President Bill Polian said the fans were “the voice that propels us.” Owner Jim Irsay said “I love you,” and “Go Colts!”

All the while the Patriots watched, their anger growing.

“Unbelievable,” said linebacker Tedy Bruschi. “They’re up there babbling about everything under the sun, and there’s not one damn mention of this little team from Foxboro who happens to be, you know, a modern day NFL dynasty? Hello? Three Super Bowl rings over here! Have we forgotten? I guess you can’t get any damn respect in this league unless you’re one of those flashy teams with a bunch of superstars that put up huge numbers. Just look at the team the Colts beat in the Super Bowl, the um…you know…the…uh…Saints? Eagles? Whatever, they’re not getting any love either. Goddamn media bias.”

Other Patriots players were more forgiving of the Colts and the media for neglecting them during the post-Super Bowl celebrations.

“You can’t expect everybody to be raving about you when you didn’t win the Super Bowl,” said quarterback Tom Brady. “The Colts are the flavor of the month now and they’re soaking up all the attention. As for the media, well, they’ve exposed themselves as shameless front runners. Let’s see what happens if the Colts don’t even make the playoffs next year. I bet they won’t be crowning them Super Bowl champions then!”

Colts players insisted they were just caught up in the moment and did not mean to disrespect the Patriots during their victory parade. Some members of the team, however, were puzzled by the controversy, and wondered why they should have mentioned the Pats in the first place.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. We won the Super Bowl. This is about us,” said receiver Reggie Wayne. “What are we supposed to do, get up there and scream about how great they are? Please. We listened to that crap for years. It’s our time in the sun now. Don’t worry. When next season starts, everything will be back to normal and everybody will be sucking up to the Patriots again. Goddamn media bias.”

The Patriots aren’t the only team to feel slighted these days. The Chicago Bears, who lost to the Colts on Sunday, have been irked by the lack of respect they've received since winning the NFC title three weeks ago. Sadly, nothing has changed.

“Coming into the game we knew nobody respected us or gave us a chance,” said linebacker Lance Briggs. “We were pissed about it all week, and you know what? Nothing’s changed. We still can’t get any love from the media. It’s okay, though. This is the kind of stuff that fuels us. Next year we’re going to have a huge chip on our shoulder. I’m going to have two on mine, actually: one because of the disrespect, and one because my bosses are going to slap the franchise tag on me. Assholes! Now I’ll have to wait another year to sign with the Colts.”


Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission.
This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

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Patriots Upset Over Lack Of Respect During Colts Victory Parade

February 6 , 2007 Volume 2 Issue 80

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