DALLAS--Dallas quarterback Tony Romo was declared the Greatest Quarterback of All Time this season after leading the Cowboys to four consecutive victories and first place in the NFC East. Now, after a disheartening home loss to the Detroit Lions in which he had three turnovers, Romo has been downgraded to the second greatest quarterback of all time.

Experts say he can reclaim his title by winning next week’s playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks.

“Tony Romo has really faltered these past few games,” said ESPN’s Sean Salisbury. “He just doesn’t seem like the same guy we all fell in love with during that magical four week stretch in November. As strange as this might sound, I think we in the media really jumped the gun in declaring him the greatest QB in history. At this point he’s probably no better than second, right behind Joe Montana and slightly ahead of Dan Marino. If he keeps performing like this, though, he’s going to end up down in Loserville with John Elway and Peyton Manning.”

Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells warned against reading too much into Romo’s initial performance, saying it was far too early to determine his place in history. Nevertheless, the media and fans have been shocked by his decline.

“What the heck happened to Tony Romo?” asked analyst Steve Young on NFL Primetime. “He looked so good those first few games. Was it unreasonable for us to label him 'the best' so early? No, I don’t think so. He looked really, really good back then. Plus, he was nailing Jessica Simpson, wasn't he? Does Jessica Simpson have sex with second-rate quarterbacks? Actually, does she have sex with retired ones? I was just wondering.”

Young did predict that Romo would excel in the postseason and reclaim his rightful place at the top of the list of legendary quarterbacks.

“I expect Tony to really come alive in the postseason,” he said. “Great quarterbacks always do. I’m sure all the disrespect he’s been getting is going to be motivation for him. Watch out, Seahawks! Tony Romo is pissed! Also, watch out, Seahawks! You’re not very good.”

Young’s former teammate, Joe Montana, admitted to being slightly relieved by Romo’s sub-par performance recently, as it allowed him to retain the title of the World’s Best Quarterback. During an interview with the Fort Worth Star Telegram, Montana praised Romo’s abilities, but said he’s “not quite there yet.”

“He’s good but he’s still not there yet,” said Montana. “He still can’t be mentioned in the same breath as people like me, which is a relief. When I saw his performance in those first few games, I said to myself ‘It was a good run, Joe, but now it’s over.’ I felt like Eric Clapton must have felt when he first saw Jimi Hendrix perform. The difference is that Hendrix was smart enough to die before he shit the bed.”

Romo started off the season as a backup to Drew Bledsoe, but was inserted into the starter’s role in Week 7. The move seemed to energize the team, and for a while it seemed the Cowboys would never lose again.

At the time, Parcells warned against over hyping his young quarterback, and now the beleaguered coach is saying “I told you so.”

“I told you guys to put away the anointing oils, didn’t I?” Parcells said after Sunday’s loss. “The kid had a few good games and everybody was acting like he was the second coming of Joe Montana. Well I’ve got news for you: He’s not the greatest ever, and he’s not even the second greatest ever. He’s just a kid with some talent who’s hit a bump in the road, okay? Now, no more questions about Romo. Please. I'm tired of talking about that guy. Don't you have something to ask me something about Terrell Owens?”


Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.