BOSTON--Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez is in hot water once again after shoving travelling secretary Jack McCormick to the ground following Sunday’s game against the Anaheim Angels. According to sources, Ramirez was angry at McCormick for getting him fined by falling down after the first shove.

“Manny has been pissed at Jack ever since that first incident, when Jack fell down in full view of everybody,” one clubhouse source said. “Manny felt that if Jack was able to catch himself, the incident would have been viewed a lot differently. On top of that, he’s also harboring some resentment at Jack for not getting him those 16 tickets he was asking for. None of this would have happened if Jack just got him those tickets. So those two things, coupled with the fact that Manny is completely batshit, created a perfect storm of sorts.”

The latest shoving incident was even more violent than the first, with Ramirez shoving McCormick so hard that he knocked over the buffet table, spilling food and drink all over the floor. Ramirez then stalked out of the room screaming about everyone “being out to get him.”

“I think Manny’s going to get into a lot of trouble for this one,” said one teammates. “He really laid into Jack this time. It was no love tap. He was like ‘Why you goin and getting me fined, man? What I ever did to you? Fu ck you!’ Then he put both hands on him and threw him into the buffet table and made a huge mess everywhere. Then he got pissed because nobody came and replaced the food and he had to eat a chicken wing off the floor. So I guess you can't blame him for thinking people are out to get him.”

Team officials say the matter will be handled internally, and word is they are weighing a bigger fine and possibly a suspension.

The incident was downplayed, however, by manager Terry Francona, who called it “an unfortunate misunderstanding.”

“These things happen all the time in a major league clubhouse,” Francona said on Monday. “We’re like a family in here, and like all families, we fight sometimes. You just have to kiss and make up and move on with your lives. Hopefully Manny can admit that he was wrong to shove Jack and Jack can admit that he was wrong to fall down and also to spill my motherfucking chicken, broccoli and ziti all over the floor and – sorry that sort of slipped out. Anyway this is obviously an emotional issue for all of us.”

Francona also addressed the perception that Ramirez receives preferential treatment from the Red Sox brass and that he is “above the team.”

“It’s nonsense. No one is above the team,” he said. “When Manny does something wrong, he is disciplined for it just like everybody else. For instance, a few weeks ago when he decided to make a cell phone call from inside the Green Monster? We confiscated his cell phone and wouldn’t give it back to him until the inning was over. Some people might find that Draconian, but I call it tough love.”

Copyright 2008, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.