GLENDALE, AZ--The Arizona Cardinals, fresh from an offseason in which they signed running back Edgerrin James to a free agent contract and landed quarterback Matt Leinart in the draft, are being hailed as this year’s sleeper team. They were hailed as a sleeper team last year, too, and the year before that. This is the fifth consecutive year the Cardinals have been designated a sleeper team, a distinction few other clubs can claim.

“Here we go again. We’re a sleeper team again,” said head coach Denny Green, who took over the team in 2004, a year in which many experts believed they could surprise people and win the division. “There are not many teams out there who can say that for five years in a row, experts believed they could sneak up on the rest of the division. Some teams never have that hope, but we stay competitive preseason after preseason. Now it’s time for us to move up to the next level and be a team that everyone picks to finish around .500 and does just that. Don’t laugh. Anything can happen in this league.”

Last season, the Cardinals were called a sleeper team after signing former MVP quarterback Kurt Warner and selecting cornerback Antrel Rolle in the draft. It was also Green’s second season as head coach, and the offensive system he used so successfully in Minnesota looked like it was starting to take shape.

“Last year a lot of people said ‘Look out for the Cards. They could be a sleeper team,’” said Warner, who had an up-and-down 2005 season before being awarded a 3-year contract extension over the winter. “We ended up going 5-11. The year before that, when I was still with the Giants, I remember everybody saying ‘Hey, the Cardinals are this year’s sleeper team. Watch out.’ That year they went 6-10. Who knows what 2006 will bring? Personally I think we could sneak up on some people, although since people have been saying that for the past 5 years, it probably wouldn’t be all that sneaky.”

The Cardinals open the 2006 season at home against the San Francisco 49ers. It will be the first regular season game in the Cardinals new, retractable roof stadium in Glendale. The new stadium, as well as the signing of James and Leinart, could signal the beginning of a renaissance for the beleaguered franchise.

In a sign of the new optimism among fans of the Cards, all home games for the 2006 season have been sold out.

“That just goes to show you,” Green said, “that these fans have been waiting a long time for something positive to happen here. Now they feel like we are a team to be reckoned with. It helps that we have a new stadium, too, because shiny new stuff is always a good way to build fan support. I guess the only downside is the new stadium did not come equipped with offensive linemen. It does have a slide-out grass surface, though, whatever that means.”

This year may represent the best season yet for the Cards to rise above sleeper team and vault into contender status. The NFC West consists of the Seattle Seahawks and three teams, the 49ers, Cards, and St Louis Rams, that are in the process of rebuilding.

Some scouts believe that the Cardinals could challenge for second place and possibly a wild card berth.

“This is a horrible division other than the Seahawks,” said an NFC scout. “The Cardinals actually look like the best of the rest in some ways. They could really sneak up on – well you know the rest. Heck, if the Seahawks suffer a few key injuries, who knows? They Cards could take the division. Okay, by 'a few key injuries' I mean the whole team perishing in a plane crash and all of their practice squad players coming down with a debilitating stomach virus.”

Other teams in the NFC have confessed to being jealous of the Cards for their perennial dark horse status. Teams like the Detroit Lions, for instance, have been picked by most to miss the playoffs, despite hiring a new coach and jettisoning their underachieving quarterback, Joey Harrington.

“A sleeper team? Oh that would be cool,” said cornerback Dre Bly, who has been with the Lions since 2003. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to have people think you have the potential to not be as crappy as you appear to be. That would be like winning the Super Bowl for us.”

“That’s what I’ve always envied the Cardinals,” he added. “They always look like they’re on the verge of a breakthrough season, and we’re always on the verge of bottoming out. We could surprise some people this year by going completely winless. That’s really the only chance we have of being a sleeper team.”

  Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.