Spanish Draft Pick’s Translator Can’t Understand Stuart Scott Either

NEW YORK --Fran Vazquez, the Orlando Magic’s first round draft pick, doesn’t understand a word of English. That’s why he employs a translator to help him deal with the media. However, the translator had his own problems recently while trying to understand ESPN’s Stuart Scott at the NBA draft.

“What’s that guy saying? What language is he speaking?” asked Ramon Arroyo, after trying to translate a confusing interview with Scott and Vazquez. “I thought I was pretty fluent in English but I guess I need a refresher course. He talked really fast and used a lot strange phrases that I’ve never heard before. Poor Fran kept looking at me for a translation, and all I could do was shrug my shoulders.”

Days after the interview, Arroyo was still trying to figure out what Scott was saying. He acquired a tape of the exchange, and has been studying it ever since.

“He said “booya” once and he also said something that sounded like “holla,” which I’ve never heard before. And when he spoke English the words and phrases were all jumbled. Perhaps he was utilizing some ancient dialect that I’m not familiar with. He is obviously a highly educated person.”

What Vazquez was actually hearing was Scott’s unique speech pattern which consists of hip, urban slang, buzz words, and stuff he just makes up. That manner of talking has made Scott one of the most well-known sports anchors in the country. However, it’s not unusual for someone to have trouble understanding him.

“That’s just Stuart. That’s just the way he talks,” said Tom Emerson, executive producer of ESPN’s NBA draft coverage. “It takes some getting used to, but that’s what makes him a unique personality. I even have a hard time occasionally. Just last month Stuart came into my office and said something to me that was so puzzling I didn’t even know how to react. All I heard was ‘dog this’ and ‘dog that’. So I just laughed. I was like ‘I hear ya, G!’ Turns out he was telling me that his dog died.”

As for Arroyo, he decoded some of Scott’s questions after studying the tapes of the interview. Unfortunately it was too late. “OK right here I think he’s saying ‘Are you looking forward to playing in Orlando ,’” said Arroyo, pausing the tape. “You can tell because he says ‘The Ando’ which I deduced is some kind of variation of the word ‘ Orlando .’ The rest of it I just filled in myself. Too bad I couldn’t have done it sooner. That would’ve alleviated an extremely awkward moment.”

The night was full of extremely awkward moments for Scott. Some of the worst moments were reserved for foreign players working without the aid of a translator. Frenchman Johan Petro was one such player and he left the interview frustrated and confused.

“What was that? What happened? Who was that man?” asked an exasperated Petro after finishing the Scott interview. “It’s as if he was speaking some other language that I have never heard. I understood the first question. It was ‘How’s it going Johan?’ but everything afterward was unclear. I could pick up certain words here and there but found no discernible pattern. It was—how you say—gibberish. According to Scott, I should ‘put a mad beat down’ on all the ‘haters in da house.’ Then he stared at me for a few moments and I stared back at him and neither of us said a word. After about 30 seconds I responded with ‘Yes I am.’ Then I got up and ran out of the building.”

For Arroyo, the incident was a learning experience. Since he works with two other Spanish speaking players who are entering next year’s draft, he is determined to learn the intricate and mysterious language of Stuart Scott.

I will decipher this language,” said Arroyo. “Next year I will be able to converse with him freely and understand every word and turn of phrase. I’ve compiled hours of tape and will pore over it and make a list of every phrase and it’s meaning. For example, I learned that ‘frontin’ means to be phony. I also learned that ‘holla atcha boy’ means to acknowledge a friend or relative in an affectionate way. ‘Hater’ is rather self-explanatory. It’s someone who belittles another person or underestimates their abilities. That’s all I have so far. It’s going to take me a while to do this, but it will be quite gratifying to learn a third language.”