ATLANTA--Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino avoided mentioning his recent stint in the NFL during an interview with Arkansas Athletic Director Jeff Long on Monday. Petrino led the team to a 3-10 record this year and alienated many of his players in the process.

A source familiar with the talks say the Razorbacks came away impressed.

“He did a great job with the interview,” said the source. “I think they were impressed with his track record and experience, and the way he led the Cardinals to a 12-1 record in 2006. He didn’t mention his little cup of coffee with the Falcons, though. He left that out. That’s a pretty smart move on his part. You always want to embellish a little in a job interview, and this was like reverse embellishing. He also told them he could type 60 words a minute, which is bullshit.”

According to the source, Petrino told Arkansas he spent this season backpacking through Europe.

“He said he just took the year off and spent it traveling around Europe,” said the source. “Jeff was pretty impressed with that. He felt that Bobby would be rejuvenated from the time off. By the end of the interview he was offering him the job. All Bobby had to do was go tell the Falcons, who weren’t surprised in the least. In fact, they’re already talking to Les Miles about replacing him.”

Petrino replaces Houston Nutt, who compiled a 75-48 record in 10 seasons at Arkansas. He brings with him an offensive-minded game plan that will be a refreshing change to Razorback fans used to the ultra-conservative style of Nutt.

Long believes Petrino’s system will be a “breath of fresh air” for the program.

“Our fans are going to love Coach Petrino’s high energy approach,” said Long. “He brings an impeccable reputation. This guy has been nothing but a success everywhere he’s been. And he’s not one of those mercenaries, who just skips from job to job with total disregard for the contract he signed. If you hire a guy like that, don't be surprised when he quits on you, too.”

Long felt the school didn’t need to do a detailed background check on Petrino, as they had already followed his college career closely.

“We know what he did with Louisville,” said Long. “There’s no need for us to go digging into his background. He had a bunch of nice years with the Cardinals, then he went backpacking through Europe, and now he’s the head coach of the Razorbacks. His references checked out too. That quarterback from Louisville, Brian Brohm, really loved him. So much so that he had him listed three times.”

In Atlanta, players had mixed responses to their coach’s departure. Some felt it was a blessing in disguise, while other felt that it was a totally undisguised blessing. All in all, the team seemed excited by the news.

“Bobby is leaving? Oh my God that’s so awesome,” said tight end Alge Crumpler. “Bobby just never seemed to get the hang of the NFL game. He couldn’t run the offense, he couldn’t communicate with the players – he was just in over his head. Hopefully now they can hire someone who knows what they’re doing. I know: how about Urban Meyer? That guy’s awesome. You can’t possibly go wrong with a choice like that.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.