BOSTON--The Boston Celtics started off the season with a sparkling 24-2 record but have fallen on hard times, losing 7 of their last 11, including home losses to the Knicks and Houston Rockets.

The inexplicable dry spell has some around the league accusing them of tanking to get a shot at the top pick in the draft.

“Something smells funny here,” said one NBA executive. “How can they go from being the best team in the NBA to losing to teams like the Knicks and the Golden State Warriors? It doesn’t make sense. If you ask me, they’re tanking it to get [Oklahoma forward] Blake Griffin. Hopefully the league will look into this, especially if they bench KG, Pierce, Allen, and Rondo and lose the rest of their games.”

Many observers point to the Celtics road loss to the Golden State Warriors as the most convincing evidence that they're losing on purpose. One such observer, Warriors guard Jamal Crawford, claimed “nobody loses to us by accident.”

“You don’t just come into our arena and lose a game unless you’re either a) the Los Angeles Clippers or b) tanking the season,” Crawford said. “To me it looks like the Celtics are tanking the season. I can’t say that I blame them, because this is going to be a helluva draft class. Still, they’re going to have some competition from teams like us. See, we’re not trying to win either. Not because of the draft, but because we don’t give a shit.”

Critics say the practice of tanking is proof that the NBA draft lottery system is a flawed concept. However, Commissioner David Stern insists there’s no “hard proof’ that the Celtics, or anybody else, are losing on purpose this year.

“I hardly feel that a short slump in the middle of January is worthy of an investigation,” said Stern. “Every team goes through this stuff. Plus, why would they tank this year? That’s something that teams do when they have nothing else to lose – like the Knicks. The fact that they’re not tanking at this point is worthy of an investigation. Talk about mismanagement. Have they learned nothing from the Isiah Thomas years?”

The Celtics players scoffed at the idea of tanking the season, pointing at recent victories against Toronto as evidence that they are trying to win.

“How can a team that’s tanking win two in a row?” asked Paul Pierce. “Sure, those games seemed harder than they needed to be, but we’re a little tired. It’s just those January doldrums that teams go through. If we were tanking they would just shut me down, like they did in 2007 when we were trying to get Oden. I mean…when I was…injured and we were…trying to…see what our young guys could do? Is that the line we’re going with?”

Copyright 2009, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.