Report: Truck Commercial To Air During Baseball Playoffs

LOS ANGELES--According to industry sources, a new, never-before-seen truck commercial will air during the baseball playoffs. The commercial will depict a large, mud-caked Dodge pickup being loaded with steal beams and driven up a mountain by hard-hat wearing men, to the sound of a popular classic rock song from the 70’s. No further details were available.

“This one’s going to be big. This one’s going to change the way people look at trucks,” said Fox Sports producer Sheryl Broadwell. “If you’re into trucks I would urge you to sit down and watch this amazing event. Actually, even if you’re not into trucks you’re really going to love this commercial. It’s got everything. And if you miss it the first time, don’t worry. We’re going to air it over and over until your head explodes.”

The Fox network expects the new spot to provide a huge boost to ratings during the baseball playoffs. Even non-baseball fans are expected to tune in to what many are calling the truck commercial of the century.

“It’s going to be a ratings bonanza,” said Broadwell. “We’re expecting big, big numbers here. There is amazing buzz on the street. Everyone in America is wondering ‘What does the truck look like? What kind of truck is it? Does it have a hemi? A V8 engine? How about the APR? Cash back?’ You know, it’s kind of like the final episode of Mash, or the whole ‘Who Shot JR’ thing. It’s just one of those rare television events that becomes woven into the fabric of our culture.”

An official from Dodge Trucks said the decision to build an ad campaign around one of their vehicles came after much soul searching and debate. In the end, the company decided the truck was worthy of appearing on the sacred airwaves of prime time television.

“We have this amazing new truck and we just had to let people know about it,” said Jeff Levenson, marketing director for Dodge. “But how? We thought about going door-to-door, but logistically that just doesn’t work for us. Then we considered not saying anything at all, and just allowing truck-buyers to come to one of our dealerships and find out that way. But that’s not really fair to the American public. As we all know, the bedrock of any good democracy is a well-informed populace.”

Responding to criticism over last year’s playoff coverage, Fox promised to increase the amount of commercials during this year’s coverage. As a result, viewers can expect to see a record twelve commercials per fifteen minutes of baseball. In addition, several in-game product tie-ins will appear, such as the Dodge Call of the Game, the Pepsi Fan Cam, the Verizon Scoring Update, and the Cialis Boner of the Night.

“It’s just an amazing amount of products, and an amazing amount of promotions,” said Broadwell. “We truly live in a golden age of advertising. I hope our viewers appreciate this and don’t take it for granted. Some day, when the world ends, and fire and molten lava cover the earth and the skies turn black, and the rivers become red with blood, there will be no more TV commercials. So enjoy it while you can.”

The Fox network will also use the opportunity to advertise their own lineup of shows.

“Did you know that there is a new season of House? Yes? Well, we’re going to drive the point home anyway, several different times,” said Broadwell. “How about Kitchen Confidential? Now there’s a show everyone should tune into. It’ll change the way you look at restaurants. Did I mention House? Oh yes, I did. Well let me mention it again. House is back with a new season of twists so shocking it will leave you breathless. Seriously, it’s going to be awesome. Tune it to the playoffs for a sneak preview. Oh, and one more thing: We’ve got a new show called Kitchen Confidential. Check it out. It will change the way you look at restaurants.”

She also noted that this week’s episodes of House, Kitchen Confidential, and Arrested Development will be jam-packed with commercials for the 2005 Major League Baseball playoffs.