Three Weeks With Ray Lewis Sends Deion Sanders Back Into Retirement

BALTIMORE, MD--Deion Sanders’comeback bid is over before it began. The outspoken defensive back attempted to come out of retirement with the Baltimore Ravens, but is instead returning to his estate in Florida after spending only three weeks in the company of linebacker Ray Lewis. According to Sanders, he had “no idea” Lewis was so annoying and overbearing.

“I basically thought that was just a persona for the TV cameras,” said Sanders. “You know, the in-your-face, super intense bullshit, the whole ‘intense gridiron warrior’ image—I thought it was all an act for TV commercials and NFL promos and shit. But it’s not. He’s like that all the time.”

Sanders’ first skirmish with Lewis occurred in the weight room prior to a practice. While Sanders was bench pressing, he asked Lewis to provide a spot for him. What started out as a routine weight lifting session turned into a shouting match.

“I did twenty-five repetitions, which is pretty good for a guy who just got back into the swing of things,” said Sanders. “Ray was spotting me the whole time and he was really good at pumping me up and shouting words of encouragement. But when I said I was done, he got really pissed. He leaned over me and yelled ‘You are not done, boy! This lack of intensity will not be tolerated! This is war, and your enemy is in the other locker room outworking you! You will not be outworked in my locker room!’ His locker room? Since when is it his locker room? And is it really necessary for him to spray spittle all over my face like that?”

In addition, Lewis physically threatened Sanders during practice.

“Deion was covering Travis [Taylor, Ravens wideout] and he got burned by a deep ball,” said Ravens coach Brian Billick. “Deion just laughed it off and attributed it to rust, but Ray was having none of it. He seemed enraged by Sanders’ nonchalance and started threatening him. He screamed ‘This is not your estate in Florida! This is the gridiron! I wanna see a maximum effort out of you every time the ball comes your way! Pain is only temporary! Now drop and give me 20!’ When Deion refused, Ray went a little nuts. He had to be restrained. I told Deion it happens all the time, and he was like ‘Thanks but no thanks.’ I wasn’t a bit surprised. I know Deion, and he doesn’t drop and do 20 for anyone—not even the coach.”

But the last straw came at a team lunch later that day. Sanders ate a helping of mashed potatoes and steak, then pushed his plate away without going for seconds. Lewis then blasted Sanders for failing to prepare himself physically for the demanding routine of life in the NFL.

“That’s all you’re eating?” he asked, exasperated. “You need to get a second helping of mashed potatoes, son. This is not the way an NFL player eats. Physical fitness is of the utmost importance! Your opponent is filling his body with all the essential proteins, nutrients, and carbohydrates necessary to maintain your body throughout sixteen weeks of all-out war! Now put the fork in your mouth, before I do it for you! You’re not one of those Atkins faggots, are you?”

“That was the last straw,” said Sanders. “The guy pissed me off three times in one day. That’s too much, even for me. I went into the locker room and grabbed my stuff and packed it up. Then I went into Billick’s office and told him the news. He didn’t seem too surprised. In fact, he told me he would’ve quit a long time ago, too, if Ray hadn’t threatened his family.”

For his part, Lewis insisted that he was only trying to motivate Sanders, not intimidate him. He feels that Sanders might have been “softened up” by his years in retirement, and was simply making an effort to gear him up for the intensity of the NFL season.

“I really don’t understand why he up and left like that,” Lewis said. “I thought he was a warrior, a soldier, but I guess not. You see, in this league, you’ve got to maintain a level of intensity week in and week out that will match your opponents or you will not last very long. Why do you think I’m so successful? My crazed eyes, glowering brow, and frightening scowl strike fear into the hearts of the opponent. It also doesn’t hurt to have been indirectly involved in a murder.”

After leaving the team, Sanders returned to his home in Florida where he resumed fishing. However, he has not ruled out a return to a different NFL team if the opportunity presents itself and it’s the “right situation.”

“I still feel like I can play in this league. Physically, I feel great. Mentally I’m as prepared as ever,” he said. “But now I realize that the situation has to be right for me. I can’t be bullied around by some lunatic like Ray Lewis. I’ve been a football player for a long time, and can coach myself. I still have a lot of respect for Ray, but we just weren’t meant to be in the same locker room together. If there’s going to be a loudmouthed, arrogant head case on the team, it’s going to be me. Otherwise, what’s the point of even playing?”