Chris Simms Blames Loss On Laissez-Faire Upbringing

TAMPA--Chris Simms blamed Saturday’s loss to the Washington Redskins on his laissez-faire upbringing, and even went so far as to say that his father, former Giants quarterback Phil Simms, was directly responsible for his lack of grit and determination. Simms statement echoed comments made by analyst Steve Young earlier this season, who also said that Simms was the product of a “laissez-faire upbringing.”

“I can’t help but think that if I had a different upbringing that I would’ve won that game,” Simms told reporters at the post game press conference. “My father – he just didn’t really instill in me the mental toughness to handle the pressure of a big game. Did you see that hideous interception I threw at the end? That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. Somebody like Tom Brady would never do that. That’s probably because he wasn’t raised like a goddamn homo. Thanks a lot, dad.”

Simms went on to say that he was brought up without any sense of accountability or responsibility. Since his father had spoiled him rotten, he never had to earn anything.

“Oh, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” he said. “It was pretty pathetic. If I wanted something I just asked my daddy for it. When I came into this league I really thought I would have everything handed to me on a silver platter. I thought I was special because I’m Phil Simms’ son. What a rude awakening it’s been so far. Steve Young was right on the money with his comments. I only wish he was my father.”

Experts say that children raised in a laissez-faire environment suffer from a lifetime of negative consequences, including a decided lack of heart and inability to overcome adversity. What’s worse, there’s no way to reverse the problem once the damage is done.

According to sports psychologist Leonard McNeil, Simms is a classic example of this phenomenon.

“The poster boy for mentally soft, spineless people is Chris Simms,” McNeil said. “At the risk of sounding crude, he’s a chicken shit. There’s nothing he can do about it, either. You can’t coach him out of it, that’s for sure. He’s only real hope is to maybe become a punter or a long snapper or something that requires very little toughness. Meanwhile, Phil Simms should go to jail for what he did to this kid.”

Steve Young was widely criticized when he made his comments about Simms’ upbringing, but Saturday’s game provided him with some vindication. He addressed the issue once again on NFL Primetime:

“Look, I’m not going to sit here and say I told you so. Chris Simms is a good kid and Phil Simms is a good father. It’s tough being a quarterback in this league. You’ve really got to have the mental make up to do it. You know- like my own kids. Tough as nails, they are. I got a son who can split a concrete block with his forehead. I raised him like a sled dog, constantly riding him and challenging his limitations. But that’s just one way to do it. I’m not saying it’s the only way. The world needs pussies, too.”

Not everyone is convinced that Chris Simms had a soft upbringing. Inexplicably, Phil Simms is still trying to claim that he raised his son “the right way” and that he has the necessary tools to be an NFL quarterback.

“I did not give my son a ‘laissez-faire’ upbringing. I take offense to that,” Simms said during an interview on the Dan Patrick Show. “I’m really disappointed in Chris for even mentioning it. I don’t know where he would get that idea. He had a good, solid, disciplined upbringing. And who is Steve Young to criticize me? He’s a Mormon. I’d rather raise my kids as pansies than as members of some weird-ass cult. At least when Chris gets married, it’s only going to be to one woman. “