Matt Clement Thanks Theo Epstein For Somehow Getting Him $25 Million

BOSTON--After Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein announced his resignation on Monday, at least one player on the team took the time to thank him for his years of service. That player? Pitcher Matt Clement, who credits Epstein with somehow getting him a $25 million contract, even though he had a career record of 69-75.

Speaking by phone from his home in Florida, Clement called Epstein “a genius.”

“That guy was amazing. He was one of the best in the business. I don’t know how he got me that $25 million. He must’ve somehow convinced John Henry and Larry Luccino that I was worth the money, even though my career stats were totally mediocre. Well, allow me to say ‘thanks’ right now. Thanks, Theo! I’ll be thinking of you next time I’m rolling around in thousand dollar bills on the deck of my yacht.”

Clement then thought back to the day he sat down with Epstein to hammer out his deal.

“I was there with my agent, and Theo said to me ‘How much do you want?’ and my agent slid over this little piece of paper that said five million over three years. Well, Theo countered with an offer for $25 million. He said he really ‘believed in me.’ My agent and I practically fell on the floor laughing. He believed in me? He believed in me? What on earth for? Even the Cubs didn’t believe in me, and that’s really saying something.”

The 31-year-old pitcher also wondered where Epstein might land for his next job.

“I wonder where he’s going,” Clement said. “ Is he going to Arizona? Los Angeles? Tampa Bay? I think he’d be a good fit in Los Angeles. They’ve got a good team, a nice fan base, beautiful stadium, and I’d like to finish my own career there. If I do, I’d like nothing more than for Theo Epstein to negotiate my contract. Me and Theo make a great team. He gives me money, and I go out and spend it.”

After the 2004 season, Epstein had some hard decisions to make for the Red Sox. Pitchers Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe were free agents, and the team couldn’t sign them both while still retaining catcher Jason Varitek. So Epstein opted to let both pitchers go, and compensated by signing Clement, David Wells, and Wade Miller. Miller, too, was appreciative of Epstein’s efforts in getting him a million dollar deal.

“Hey, a million dollars is nothing to sneeze at, especially when you have a torn rotator cuff and refuse to have surgery to fix it,” Miller said Monday on the Dan Patrick radio show. “My arm is completely dead. Shit, I would’ve been stocking shelves at Home Depot if Theo didn’t come along and rescue me from oblivion. I just wish he didn’t quit. I was hoping to sign up for another year in 2006. My arm is as good as new--my left arm, that is. My right arm came off one night while I was sleeping.”

Epstein made a number of questionable deals last year, including the signing of Edgar Renteria to a 4-year, $40 million contract, when the team already had Orlando Cabrera to play shortstop. Cabrera went on to play stellar defense for the Anaheim Angels this year, while Renteria struggled mightily, making a career high 29 errors.

“That Renteria signing was tough,” Clement said in defense of Epstein’s decision. “Who knew he was going to play this bad? He’s been great his entire career. But I still say the $40 million was worth it. The leadership Edgar provided was key to us getting into the playoffs. You know, that quiet, stoic leadership style where he sits in the corner and doesn’t interact with anybody and then takes the field and muffs an easy grounder? You can’t put a price tag on that.”

When reached for comment, Epstein refused to take credit for the Clement signing, saying that the pitcher earned the contract on his own. He also provided some insight into his future plans.

“Matt’s a great pitcher. I’d give him $25 million all over again if I could,” Epstein said from his apartment in Boston. “He struggled this year but, hey, he’s only human. What do you expect? As for me, I’m probably going to take a year off and relax a little. I don’t know if I’ll be getting back into baseball right away. One thing I’m seriously considering is pursuing my music career with my band, Trouser. Maybe we'll do a world tour or something. Just kidding, everyone. Calm down. Put down the razor blades.”