LOS ANGELES--Three days before his team’s big showdown against North Carolina in the NCAA tournament, USC coach Tim Floyd received some surprising news: O.J. Mayo, prized recruit scheduled to come in next year, will be playing in Friday’s big game as the team’s starting point guard.

Mayo informed Floyd of his decision on Tuesday morning, shortly after wrapping us his high school career with a third straight state championship.

“Yea, O.J. is going to be playing for us on Friday against UNC,” Floyd said on Tuesday. “I just found out this morning. He text messaged me. I tried telling him that I liked the mix of guys we have in there now, but he was pretty insistent. He really wants to go out there and contribute. So our regular point guard is out and O.J. Mayo is in. Also, he’s bringing some friends and he wants them sitting courtside, so a few of our other players are going to have to sit on the floor.”

Mayo got the idea to join the team after watching highlights of USC’s stirring victory over the Texas Longhorns. Awash in school spirit, he immediately contacted Floyd and told him he was coming.

“That was a great game, man. I was really excited watching that,” Mayo said today. “The whole time, I was thinking ‘I should be out there. My team needs me.’ That’s when I decided to call coach Floyd and let him know that help was on the way. He seemed kind of hesitant at first. For a minute, I actually thought he was going to say no, which would have totally blown my mind, because that hasn’t happened to me since I was like 8.”

Mayo has had his share of controversy during his brief career. As a high school basketball phenom, he was seen by many as a spoiled, arrogant prima donna with a sense of entitlement. That reputation has followed him to USC, but according to officials, it’s too late to do anything about it.

“This is a monster that was created a long time ago and is beyond anybody’s control right now,” said USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett. “For us to try and say no to him now would be frivolous at best, suicidal at worst. He holds all the cards. If he wants to come and play on Friday, he can play. If he wants his cousin to play power forward, we can make that happen, too. If he wants Coach Floyd to wear a chicken suit and dance around center court while he and his friends lob tomatoes at him, we can accommodate that as well. This is his school for one whole year, then the colossal prick is the responsibility of whatever sucker drafts him.”

The news of Mayo’s early arrival was greeted with disappointment by some players on the USC squad, most notably freshman point guard Daniel Hackett, who will be benched following an excellent performance against Kevin Durant and the Longhorns on Sunday.

However, Hackett said he would do his part to cheer on his new teammate this week.

“”I guess I’ll just have to take one for the team and be a cheerleader,” said Hackett, who had 20 points in Friday’s game. “Hopefully O.J. will adopt the same team-first mentality that the rest of us have adopted. Actually, he’s already asked me if he could jump over my head for one of his signature dunks, so I guess that's a start.”

Mayo does not plan on attending any of the team’s regularly scheduled practices this week. Rather, he plans to show up to the game and insert himself into the lineup when he’s ready.

“You know, I’m just going to come to the game, suit up, and jump in there,” said Mayo. “It’s no big deal. I’m sure lots of great players have done the same sort of thing. I’ll give it my all while I’m out there and I’ll do everything I can to make this team win. Then, at the end, my teammates will be carrying me off the court on their shoulders. Not because we won, but because I like to preserve my feet as much as possible for my upcoming career in the NBA.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.