DETROIT--Following a 92-85 loss to the Boston Celtics, which snapped an 11-game winning streak, the Detroit Pistons downplayed the importance of the regular season, calling it “meaningless” and insisting that the real season starts during the playoffs. To prove their point, they decided to skip the second half of the regular season.

“God the regular season is so pointless,” said a bored looking Chauncey Billups. “Why do people even watch the games? Why are they televised? What’s the point? Only playoff games have meaning. That’s why we’re going to skip the rest of the exhibition – I mean, regular season and rest up for the actual season. Sure, we’ll have to forfeit all the games, but nobody will remember that when we’re hoisting another championship trophy.”

As of Tuesday, the Pistons had already packed up and gone home for the season, where they will relax and prepare themselves mentally and physically for their season opener in April.

“Personally I plan on getting a lot of R & R, so when it’s time to play ball I’ll be good and ready,” said guard Richard Hamilton. “I think it’s great that all the rest of these teams are going to be huffing and puffing their way through the season and we’re going to be relaxing at home. See, this is what makes us such a savvy, veteran team. I feel so sorry for non-savvy, non-veteran teams. I don't even know why they bother trying.”

One factor that might complicate things for the Pistons is the possibility that, by forfeiting the rest of their games, they won't even make the playoffs. But the players insist that won’t be a problem because regular season games don't really count.

“I don’t think it really matters what kind of won-loss record we finish with,” said Billups. “The rest of the league is under the impression that it matters whether you win or lose during the regular season, but it doesn’t. Look at us. We won 64 games in ‘05-‘06 and totally shit the bed in the playoffs.”

With the Pistons dropping out of the regular season, the Cleveland Cavaliers appear to be the favorites to win the Central. But as far as Lebron James and Co. are concerned, the road to the Finals still goes through Detroit.

“They’re probably the best team in the East right now,” said James. “The fact that they’re skipping the rest of the regular season makes it even harder, because they’re going to be so well rested in the playoffs. I guess the one thing you could hope for is that they come out a little rusty. Then again, they’re such crafty veterans they probably want us think they’re rusty so we’ll get all overconfident. Well, the joke’s on them because I think we’re going to get our asses kicked no matter what.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.