Can the White Sox repeat this year? Yes, if they blast Jon Garland into outer space. It's a bad sign when opposing batters are high-fiving before they get to the plate

I bet the Brewers pitching staff would feel a lot better if they had infielders who were willing to get in front of the ball instead of running from it like it’s a live grenade. Guys, it's not illegal to trap the ball in your glove and relay it to the first basemen. It’s actually one of the bedrocks of the game.

Johann Santana is one of the best pitchers ever to come out of the Dominican Republic. Oh, he’s Venezuelan? Whatever, the guy can pitch. Let’s not split hairs.

If the Padres continue to struggle offensively this year, they can always live vicariously through the MLB 2K6 version of themselves, for which I created a player that is currently leading the league in all offensive categories.

Jeff Francoeur’s favorite thing to do is take batting practice, because those balls go down the middle and don’t move around all over the place like the magic balls that real pitchers throw.

If the playoffs started today, the Phillies would not be in them. They won’t be in them when they actually do start either, unless they somehow start in 1983.

The Indians mascot is considered offensive because it’s historically inaccurate. Native Americans weren’t Indians. To make it more accurate they should give it a headset and a job at Microsoft call center.

Theo Epstein showed why he is the best GM in the league when he traded Bronson Arroyo for Wily Mo Pena. Hey, who needs the greatest pitcher in baseball history when you can have a guy who swings and misses twice before the ball gets to the plate?

Pitching coach Rick Honeycutt spotted a problem with Odalis Perez's mechanics: He's throwing the ball off the mound toward the batter, instead of dropping his glove and running for his life.

At least the Devil Rays aren’t one of those teams that only looks good on paper. They look horrible on paper.

The Angels have two Weavers on their pitching staff: Jared, who is super talented and has his head screwed on tight; and Jeff, who’s like Derek Lowe on seven Red Bulls

In the five-plus seasons Jason Schmidt has been with the Giants, they have never won a World Series. I don't know about you, but when I identify a problem, I eliminate it.

Hey look, Carlos Beltran is hitting the ball! Great, thanks, Carlos. This totally makes up for the millions of dollars you stole last year.

If the Tigers cruise into the playoffs and get knocked out early, they should lay the blame on Flip Saunders. He just has no ability to make adjustments.

Have the Pirates started to tune out Jim Tracy? No. That’s why they’re still losing

The Royals patted themselves on the back for signing Doug Mientkiewicz and Mark Grudzielanek in the offseason. Teams don’t usually pat themselves on the back for signing players like that. They usually hold press conferences to defend themselves.

The Blue Jays have a shaky middle infield, which is going to ruin their chances of winning a World Series. The corners are good, though, so they can still win the pennant.

The Rockies are one of those teams that’s impossible to root for because they’re way the hell out there in Colorado. Do they really expect people to fly all the way out to east bumfuck to watch a .500 team?

Another sign that Randy Johnson has lost his velocity: the other day one of his fastballs struck a passing bird and the bird caught it in its beak and carried it back to its nest.

Apparently Miguel Tejada demanding a trade in the offseason wasn’t an example of an athlete being selfish, but of an athlete being psychic.

Miguel Cabrera is a five-tool player. That means he can hit, throw, run, catch, and what…spit sunflower seeds? I don’t know what the fifth tool is. I’m not even sure those first four tools are right.

Alfonso Soriano has reportedly said he’d leave the Nationals at the end of this year if Jim Bowden remains as GM. Yea, shame on Jim Bowden for acquiring him and asking him to play a position. He should key the guy’s car on his way out.

Brad Lidge may have ruined the World Series last year, but the Astros paid him his salary anyway. That shows you why the Astros are not an elite team. There’s no accountability.

The Mariners won’t win the World Series this year, which means it’s another wasted year in Seattle. Rain, losing teams, Mike Holmgren, Cameron Crowe - this is why I avoid Seattle like an Indonesian poultry farm. And to think this is the same city that was the capital of art and culture for 5 minutes in the early 90’s.

The Cardinals are one of those teams that’s always a couple players away from winning it all. They got a couple players this year, but they were the wrong ones.

Manager Jerry Narron is shocking all the doubters out there who said he was half retarded and could barely make out a lineup card. He certainly proved me wrong. That’s the last time I judge a book by it’s cover.

The Cubs picked up Wade Miller this year to make Kerry Wood and Mark Prior feel better about their arm problems. Miller is the kind of pitcher who’s always good for one solid start followed by 2 or 3 months of waiting for the swelling to go down.

Jay Payton keeps insisting that he’s an everyday player. Okay, we get it, Jay. You’re an everyday player. You’re just not a very good one.

The Diamondbacks are like the New York Mets of the west, in that they have pinstriped uniforms and I hate them.